“Hell’s Kitchen is the Center of the Center of the Universe” — Heather Holland Wheaton’s West Side Story

Tour guide, short story writer, background actor and election worker Heather Holland Wheaton moved to NYC in 1987 and has lived here ever since. This is Heather’s West Side Story.

So what’s your New York story? Born here, or just arrived?
I should’ve been born here. My dad came here from Kansas to be an actor and lived on 52nd, my mom (from RI) came here to work in publishing. They met, fell in love, got married and moved to Buffalo, but when I came to NYC for the first time at age five, I decided I had to live here — but didn’t arrive until 1987.

What was your first job? What do you do now?
I really wanted to work at SPY Magazine, but that didn’t happen and I ended up as the supervisor of the art and architecture department at Barnes and Noble on 5th and 18th. My office was on this hidden stairwell and I could eavesdrop on customers’ conversations.

These days, I’m a tour guide, short story writer, background actor and an election worker. All jobs I absolutely love.

What’s your favorite New York minute (or moment) so far?
It might’ve been when the first copy of my self-published book, Eight Millions Stories in a New York Minute sold on Amazon, but I really think the most New York minutes — like meeting someone who ends up having a huge impact on your life — zip by unnoticed at the time in the blur of New York life.

Share with us why you love Hell’s Kitchen
As I always tell tourists, Hell’s Kitchen is the Center of the Center of the Universe. Full of the most talented people, interesting characters, quirky history and legends, an army of 100-year-old tenements with uneven floors and bricked-over windows, amazing food and bars for great conversations. There’s also a real sense of neighborhood pride and community.

What’s your superpower or hidden talent?
I notice things that most people don’t. And I write them all down.

What else should we know about you?
I’ve lived in Hell’s Kitchen for over 30 years and can’t think of living anywhere else. It’s a long story — involving COVID, my roommate moving out, a friend in the neighborhood moving to New Jersey, me giving up my rent-stabilized apartment (so stupid!) and moving into his, his moving back and me not being able to afford an apartment in Hell’s Kitchen anymore. And I didn’t get onto the Manhattan Plaza wait list.

So, if you’re looking for a fabulous roommate — quiet, doesn’t cook much, showers at the gym, is respectful of privacy, pays rent/bills on time if not early, has a great sense of humor and loves to clean, here I am.

Heather’s Favorite Hell’s Kitchen Places

Oasis Community Garden — West 52nd Street (bw 10/11th Ave)
Oasis is a perfect symbol of Hell’s Kitchen. A pile of rubble where two tenements once stood and given to a bunch of scrappy neighbors to turn into a community garden. A few of those scrappy neighbors are still gardeners there. I have my own plot there. A little piece of real estate where I’ve grown pumpkins, rhubarb, lavender and basil. My next-door plot neighbor is the artist Jim Seffens. Always happy when I run into him. He’s a real Hell’s Kitchen historian — and so witty. We still find bricks when we’re digging. Most of them are made in the ‘hood.

American Retro Bar and Grill — 785 9th Avenue (bw W 52/53rd St)
Sitting at the bar is where I do second drafts and editing. Love the burgers and chatting with the owner Mike DeLeo.

TMPL – Hell’s Kitchen — 355 W49th Street (bw 8/9th Ave)
The salt water pool is like a womb and my favorite place to think about whatever piece of writing I’m working on — or to think about nothing at all.

Jasper’s Taphouse & Kitchen — 761 9th Avenue (corner of W51st)
I love sitting outside and writing first drafts of short stories there. It’s also a spot to be seen and people-watch. Great food and staff as well.

Smoke Scene N Vape — 786 9th Avenue (bw W 52/53rd St)
Going in to say hi to Charlie the cat fills me with such joy. I’m not a cat person, but I love him. Sometimes he runs up and greets me — most of the time, he’s curled up in his office chair. His photo is in a book of bodega cats. He’s a real celebrity.

Schmackary’s — 362 W45th Street (bw 8/9th Ave)
Best cookies on the planet and everyone who works there is super nice.

Fountain House Gallery — 702 9th Avenue (corner of W48th St)
I love the art that’s there and I love that Fountain House gives the artists a place where their art can be launched into the world.

The Salvation Army Thrift Store & Donation Center — 536 W46th Street (bw 10/11th Ave)
It’s great now that they have an elevator — although I did enjoy looking at the framed cartoons in the stairwell on the way up. I’m always on the prowl for clothing I’d never wear in real life, but is perfect for the courtroom on Law and Order or a gala in Daredevil .

West Side Home Center Inc — 778 9th Avenue (corner of W52nd St)
The guys in there are so knowledgeable about fixing anything that your super ‘will get to next week.’ And they never ran out of toilet paper during the pandemic.

All of 9th Avenue — Between W34th and W59th Streets
It’s the spine of Hell’s Kitchen. Always in motion, always something happening, drama, merriment, a bagpipe at 3am, a Yorkie in a pink sweater yapping sassy at a pitbull, a drag queen clattering late to brunch, ice cream trucks during a snowstorm, delivery guys with tricked out e-bikes taking breaks. It’s all there on 9th Ave.

You can follow Heather on Instagram at @heatherhollandwheaton and check out her website . If you know someone who would make a great West Side Story (or you would like to nominate yourself), please fill in this form — w42st.info/WSSnominations .

You can check out more West Side Stories and reader recommendations on W42ST’s Hell’s Kitchen Local App .

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