What's Chris Drury's Plan For The Rangers?

Surely Chris Drury can't be serious.

The Rangers mastermind is kidding us. Right? Or is that great rebuild plan that's up his sleeve nothing more than sleeve ether?

Judging by the Free Agent Frenzy, the Rangers are neither fren nor zy. They got nothing; unless you happen to believe that the illustrious Sam Carrick and Reilly Smith are something more than Jack Roslovic-times-two.

The good citizens of Rangerville are wondering. So are the reliant reporters. My Associate Press pal Allan Kreda asks, "Not sure what the Rangers are up to – what do you think?"

I don't "think." The Maven knows for sure that today is Tuesday although Mr. General Manager is predicting that tomorrow is Wednesday.

But I do have the trusty Maven Thought Recording Machine (TRM) and just pushed the DRURY button. Listen up:

"What do those media monsters want from me? I got them a Presidents' Trophy winner. That alone should have gotten me The Congressional Medal of Honor. And after what I have to take from you guys – the Purple Heart as well."

(Mr. General Manager then opens his favorite tabloid just in case Taylor Swift has declared a love of hockey. Nothing there so he goes on thinking:)

"It's just July and those media mosquitos are like it's the March trade deadline. They forget that my great acquisitions, Alex Wennberg, Jack Roslovic and some defenseman – Jeez; I forgot his name already – got us to three playoff rounds.

"Why don't they just leave me alone. Besides, I'm expecting a call from my secret 'consultant' Slats Slater. Glad nobody is listening. I live by Glen's fabulous feedback. Wait a minute, didn't he make Trottier Rangers coach? Anyhow, time for a pizza."

The Maven's Thought Recording Machine notwithstanding, it's clear to me that Drury will make a minimum of three substantial moves between now and when somebody plays Walter Huston doing "September Song."

1. He will retain the most overpaid defenseman since Sather obtained Wade Redden. Of course that will be Sea Captain Jacob Trouba. That will allow Jake The Rake to "re-find" his game.

More importantly, it will allow Mrs. Trouba to finish her medical studies and become Dr. Trouba. Thereby, Drury will both come out as Mr. Blue Cross (Nice Guy) and keep some latent toughness on his soft defense.

2. My Semi-Analytic informant Solon Mihas reports that his Ouija Board insists that newly-acquired Reilly Smith will round out the Chris Kreider-Magnificent Mika line and become the long-sought "Top Six Right Wing."

3. WAIT! WAIT! This just in The Most Eminent Blue Collar Blueshirt blogger, Sean McCaffrey, sends me a note from a close Penguins fan pal of his: "THANKS FOR TAKING REILLY SMITH. REMIND ME TO SEND A GIFT BASKET."

4. I checked the label on Kaapo Kakko and it says "Good – until the moon comes over the mountain!"

5. Just for the fun of it, Rangers fans, let's play "Let's Pretend." A. Pretend that Sam Carrick is as good as Barclay Goodrow; B. Pretend that Reilly Smith is three-times Alex Wennberg; C. Pretend that Zac Jones will be better than K'Andre Miller on the best day K ever had!

Now seriously. The day after July 4th starts "Be Kind To The GM Week" so let's all calm down; enjoy life while your beloved Blueshirts remain undefeated!