Jennifer Lopez said she felt like she ‘was going to die’ after initial Ben Affleck split before divorce

Jennifer Lopez revealed she felt like she “was going to die” and went into an 18-year “spiral” after calling off her first engagement to Ben Affleck.

More than 20 years later, she’s again pulled the plug on their relationship (this time a marriage).

Lopez filed for divorce from Affleck on Tuesday — the anniversary of their second wedding ceremony; however, their love story began in 2002 after they starred in the rom-com flop, “Gigli.”

Affleck popped the question that year with a 6.1-carat pink diamond by Harry Winston that was reportedly worth $2.5 million. The pair had plans to marry in September 2003 but called off the wedding. They eventually announced their split in January 2004.

“I am confirming the reports that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck. At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy,” her rep said at the time.

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They rekindled their romance in 2021 and walked down the aisle not once but twice in 2022. Lopez later spoke about her heartbreak after they ended their first engagement in an interview with Zane Lowe of Apple Music 1 .

“Twenty years ago, I fell in love with the love of my life. I was working on an album and it was called ‘This Is Me… Then.’ It was all about capturing that moment in time. Now, the most amazing, incredible, unbelievable thing has happened. The reason we’re here is because I want to capture this moment in time because it is even better than the first time,” she said in November 2022.

Lopez went into detail about the pain following their breakup.

“Dude, I wouldn’t even perform these records. It was so painful after we broke up. Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die. It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right,” the singer shared.

She also addressed reviving their romance, saying, “It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending. That would never happen, we’re not going to write that because nobody would believe it’s ending.”

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“I think now that we’re older, we realize it’s much more clear, because even [then] when we felt that way, now we know,” Lopez pointed out. “Now, we know. And there [are] no questions and there is no kind of like, ‘Well, let’s see how this goes.’ Like, ‘Nope, it’s me and you. That’s it. All the way, till the end. That’s it. It’s going to be us.’”

While Lopez frequently spoke about their marriage — even creating her documentary, “The Greatest Love Story Never Told,” a self-financed $20 million three-part multimedia project about her habit as a serial romantic — Affleck opted to show “a little restraint” and not go “into gossipy detail” about their second shot at romance.

“One of the harder lessons that I have learned is that it’s not wise to share everything with the world,” he told The Wall Street Journal in December 2021.

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“I know that I feel more comfortable having those healthy boundaries in my life around which, in a friendly and straightforward way, I tell you, I just don’t want to be talking about my personal relationship in the newspaper.”

In the end, their love story didn’t survive.

Lopez filed for divorce, citing their date of separation as April 26, 2024 , and confirming they haven’t been a couple for nearly four months.

Breakup speculation started swirling in May after it was revealed that Affleck and Lopez had been living separately. He moved out of their $60 million marital mansion and into a rental home. The “Argo” actor has since purchased a $20.5 million home and put the property they bought together on the market.

Lopez and Affleck did not spend her 55th birthday or second wedding anniversary together in July. She was spotted at his rental home on his 52nd birthday last week but danced the night away to Bruno Mars at the musician’s concert without her husband.

Lopez did not specify if they signed a prenuptial agreement in the divorce documents; however, sources told TMZ that they never had one in place. If true, that will prove to be a costly mistake as she’s estimated to be worth $400 million, and Affleck landed on Forbes’ 2023 list of the highest-paid actors with an estimated $38 million in earnings last year.

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