I did 30 days’ confinement after birth — I didn’t shower and my mother-in-law cooked

A new mom followed ”postpartum confinement” — being fed and looked after by her mother-in-law and not showering for a month so she could “rest.”

Samantha Lee, 28, was told about her husband’s, Aloysius Lee, 27, family tradition of confinement and decided she wanted to follow it after falling pregnant.

Postpartum confinement is a traditional practice where the mom spends 30 days resting and recovering after giving birth.

After Samantha welcoming her son, Xandre, one-month-old, her mother-in-law, Alicia Lee, 58, cooked fresh meals everyday and looked after the baby so she can sleep.

Samantha also followed the tradition of not showering for the month – as they believe water can cause the body temperature to go down.

The new mom says the 30 days allowed her to “rest” and “focus” on herself.

Samantha, a chiropractor, from Auckland, New Zealand, said: “It’s all focused around eating, sleeping and resting.”

“It’s definitely what I needed.

“I’m not someone who wants to take a lot of rest.

“Any chance she gets she’ll [her mother in law] look after the baby.

“I don’t have to stress out much and can just focus on myself.

“Going through confinement forced me to take rest.”

When Samantha, originally from South Africa, married into Aloysius’ Chinese Malay family she was told about their traditions and treated like a daughter.

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After finding out they were expecting in December 2023, Samantha decided confinement was something she wanted to follow.

Alicia prepared for confinement by ordering food packs from Malaysia with all the herbs, teas and traditional food given to a new mom during the 30 days.

Samantha gave birth via c-section to her son, Xandre, on September 7, 2024 weighing 7lbs 2oz.

She spent two nights in hospital but Alicia still brought in her food before she was able to come home.

For the rest of the 30 days Alicia woke up at 7am everyday to start making Samantha’s tea – a herbal mix with red dates – which needs to be brewed for two hours.

She would then make the soup for lunch which simmers for five hours – and helps to clear the uterus and boost digestion.

She then served Samantha’s breakfast – ginger fried egg rice or chicken liver noodle soup.

Samantha said: “Once I’m all settled she comes and grabs baby, change him and looks after him while I eat.

“It’s all aimed at warming the body.

“In Chinese food there is wet food and dry food.

“Warm food dispels wet or dampness.

“They believe if wetness stays in the body you’ll have a lot of healthy issues.”

Alicia then goes to get fresh produce for the day before coming back to give Samantha her lunch and then she helps put the baby down so they can both nap.

Samantha said: “She puts baby down and I get to go and nap as well.

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“She then takes a break or does some cleaning.”

Alicia then focuses on making Samantha’s dinner – such as chicken and ginger, Sheng Hua Soup or black chicken.

For the first few days they bathed Xandre in Guinness.

Samantha said: “It’s supposed to stop him from getting any rashes.”

The mom also followed the tradition to not shower for the 30 days.

She said: “You’re not supposed to touch any water.

“It’s not meant to be absorbed into your body.

“You’re not meant to shower. I decided to observe the full tradition of it.

“I get a wipe down with ginger water which really promotes milk secretion.”

Samantha’s mom Linda Quezet, 53, also helped out where she could with cleaning and cooking prep.

Aloysius also took the month off work to be on hand and have his own bonding time with his son.

Samantha said she was “really weak” after having a C-section and having her mom and Alicia on hand meant she was able to rest and said her scar has already healed so well you “can’t even see it.”

She said: “It’s not the narrative we’re usually told.

“We’re normally told ‘you can bounce back’, ‘go back to work.’

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“They forget about mom. Mom’s need mothering as well.

“I can’t imagine not having people around me.

“Having the nutrient dense, high protein food – it’s really helped me recover.

“I’m getting more sleep and rest and my body is thanking me for it.”

When Samantha finishes confinement on October 6, 2024 she will have a ‘full moon celebration.’

She said: “It’s celebrating that you’ve had a baby, gone through confinement and are more rested.

“I’ll be presenting my baby to the rest of the family.

“They all bring money for the baby.”

After her 30 days are up Samantha will try and keep drinking the red date tea for as long as she can and won’t be rushing back to work anytime soon.

She said: “My main focus is going to be myself for the next six months.”

Samantha hopes by sharing her experience she can help promote the need for rest after birth.

She said: “A lot of women feel completely isolated – you’re told have a baby and you should be happy.

“You’re a shell of yourself.

“Your body is going though all these hormonal changes.

“If a women has someone looking after them or the baby they can look a bit more inward.

“I believe it decreases the chances of postnatal depression.”

Example menu:

Saffron Tea, Date Tea, chicken with lots of ginger, Sheng Hua Soup, and Chinese Yam Si-Shen Soup.

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