October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
This story deals with the topic but is more about hope and healing, finding strength in sharing and community, and reclaiming a legacy for a child whose life was lost before it even began.
“When I was pregnant with Ashlie, I made a Facebook post that said, ‘This baby girl is going to change the world,’ and this is not what I had in mind,” said Erin Maroon.
Erin and Tony Maroon couldn’t wait to become parents and could’ve never imagined how their world would change.
“Everyone tells you how to go home with a baby, but no one tells you how to go home without one,” Erin said.
Their daughter, Ashlie Cathren, was stillborn at 41 weeks.
“I held her for maybe 15 minutes, took some pictures, and gave her back, and that was the last time I ever held or saw my baby girl,” she said.
She was beautiful, Erin said. Their time with Ashlie was far too short.
“When we heard about these CuddleCots, we thought, 'Are you serious?” said Maroon. “We didn’t have one of those. We didn’t have the opportunity.”
CuddleCots are devices that keep a baby cool and allow families who experience stillbirth or infant loss more time with their child in their hospital room before saying goodbye.
The Maroons started the nonprofit Ashlie’s Embrace to donate the cots, make a difference with their daughter’s name, and help other families not feel that same pain.
Erin says the work has been healing.
“That impacted me in that I had somewhere to put my grief,” she said.
Ashlie’s Embrace has donated more than 300 CuddleCots nationwide in eight years. They have donated to hospitals in all 50 states, with about 50 alone in Ohio. But Erin says there’s still work to do.
“We’re finding daily that there are still hospitals that don’t have one,” she said.
Every day, Erin is researching and calling hospitals state by state to see who needs a CuddleCot.
“Because there have been people generous enough to donate one that say, ‘I don’t care where it goes, put it where there’s a need.’”
“My husband and I, along with our parents, donated a cot to a hospital down in South Carolina,” said Christine Davis.
Christine and Frank Davis donated a cot after losing their son, Whitaker Frank, at 37 weeks.
“He was perfect, but he was very quiet,” said Christine.
They were the first family to use a CuddleCot that Ashlie’s Embrace had donated at their hospital.
She says having that time meant everything.
“We cuddled him,” said Christine. “We rocked him. We sang. Our pastor came and prayed over him. Family from all over came in to meet him and hold him. We wouldn’t have had any of that if we didn’t have a CuddleCot.”
She says it provided them with memories they will never forget and helped them heal.
The couple now has two rainbow babies.
Their boys know all about their big brother in heaven. His first stuffy, a sea turtle they named Whitty, is always in their home.
Christine says she loves helping with Ashlie’s Embrace.
“If I can help give a family time to be with their baby and make as many memories as they can in the short amount of time they have with them, oh you bet I’m gonna do it,” she smiled.
Christine says when she’s volunteering, it feels like her special time with Whit.
“I’d say grief never goes away you just make more space for it so it’s not as constricting,” she said.
“We have two in Moriah’s name here in Ohio,” said Maria Walther about their donated CuddleCots.
Maria and Ben Walther only had a few hours with their daughter, Moriah Faith, and wish it could’ve been longer.
“To officially say goodbye,” she said. “To really just take in every detail.”
From brokenness can come beauty, said Maria.
Every CuddleCot has a customized memorial plaque. Maria says the donation provides them, and hopefully others, peace.
“To know that it’s in honor of Moriah and then they can see her name and if they want to reach out to us, they can, and that they know they’re not alone,” said Maria. “A lot of times you just feel lonely in it because people don’t know what to say.”
It has been nearly 20 years, and Maria says they’ll always celebrate the life they were given and the child they loved.
The Walthers now have seven earthly children, as Maria says. Their next two daughters, Helena and Gemma, share the same birthday as their big sister, Moriah, despite having different due dates. Maria calls it a God thing.
“Only He could’ve planned it,” she smiled. “And then that felt like the closure. The healing. Really, I think it began there.”
The Maroons also welcomed a rainbow baby. Erin calls their son a blessing.
“He is the light of my life, and he knows it,” she smiled.
Ashlie’s blessings also surround them.
“Out here is the pond we built for Ashlie,” she said while stepping into their front yard.
The pond was Tony’s project to honor their little girl. It is dotted with ducklings, a memory bench, and anchored by an angel.
Erin said it’s their happy place.
“This pond is a reminder for anyone who walks by of Ashlie’s presence,” she said.
Ashlie’s Embrace is felt in ways Erin could’ve never imagined in that post to Facebook nine years ago.
“What makes me think of her is when we get an e-mail from somebody that says because of you we had more time,” she said.
“The fact that she is present in all of those moments, which means we get to be present in all of those moments, that’s when I feel her most and it’s not an honor I take lightly. So, our baby girl is changing the world.”
Erin says the CuddleCots are about $3,000, which covers the cost of the device, shipping from the UK, taxes, and other expenses.
She said about half of their cot donations come from families, while the other half are donated through fundraising efforts.
Ashlie’s Embrace is holding its largest fundraising event this month, their FriendRaiser Gala, on Saturday, Oct. 12; you must register by Oct. 4.
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