Don’t stop talking when your mouth is full.

I recently found myself thinking about a person I’ve never met. I’ve heard countless stories recalling her quick wit and charm. I’ve seen pictures — black and white mostly — of her rectangular face with bifocals pressed against her eyes. I’ve been told she was one of the most original women to have ever graced this earth with her radiant presence. But I unfortunately never got a chance to meet my great grandma Dotty.

Dotty, a word for amiably eccentric people, is a fitting name for a woman who consistently told her granddaughter (my mother) she wasn’t eating anything, as she chewed loudly and non-discretely on the other end of the telephone. Someone dotty is amusingly absurd. My great grandmother fits this description beautifully.

So when I saw a man at an Italian restaurant eating his pasta with chopsticks, I couldn’t help but immediately think of the entertaining anomaly that was great grandma Dotty. People like this are one of a kind. They’re original, unique, and above all, by being unorthodox, they leave a memorable legacy that can be shared and enjoyed for years to come.

Great grandma Dotty’s unconventional behavior was something I never got to personally enjoy. But through stories and memories that reveal who she was, I’m able to uncover the eccentric woman behind the bifocals. If you desire a life with originality, flare, and a little intrigue, have a deep thought about the way great grandma Dotty commonly went against the grain.

Speak with Your Mouth Full

Great grandma Dotty always used to talk while she was chewing, which goes against the popular advice to never talk with your mouth full. According to my mother, this led to some hilarious conversations in which Dotty would be chewing audibly, my mom would ask what she was eating, Dotty would say nothing, and then continue to crunch and swallow right in front of my mother’s face. But there was more to talking with her mouth full than just a comedic act.

Great grandma Dotty believed that if you waited to speak until you were done chewing, you may not be able to share what you wanted to say. Born in the early 1900’s, Dotty was around during the women’s suffrage movement, which along with the right to vote, was an effort to give women a voice amongst men in society. Dotty strongly believed in a woman’s right to have equal opinion, and by speaking when her mouth was full, she was metaphorically implying that she would no longer wait for it to be her turn. She was going to speak up when she had an opinion, because her opinion mattered.

Simon Sinek, in his work Leaders Eat Last argues that a characteristic of a strong leader is to allow others to share their thoughts and ideas first. But Dotty was a leader who defied this notion because she knew her ideas wouldn’t be heard if she didn’t speak up. Thus, she refused to wait until last, and went against the norm of her time by speaking up no matter what impediments there may have been. Today, Dotty would serve as a reminder to be true to yourself and not hide your innermost emotions.

Don’t Be Afraid to Eat Cake

Great grandma Dotty loved to eat. But whereas so many women she knew were conscious of their figures, she felt that having some cake for dessert was not going to be the make or break for her body. Rather, her enjoyment in the moment far superseded her desire to be a perfectly fit and healthy woman. Thus, she never passed when an opportunity for a piece of cake presented itself.

Moderation is a luxury. We have the choice to either indulge, not indulge, or choose somewhere in between. Great grandma Dotty always chose somewhere in between because she knew this treat contributed to her happiness more so than its negative effects would take away from her clean bill of health. “If I die for having a few too many pieces of cake, then so be it,” are words I can hear her reciting.

Adam Grant, of the University of Pennsylvania, and Barry Schwartz, of Swarthmore College in a 2011 literature review in Perspectives on Psychological Science, found evidence supporting the notion that endlessly increasing “good” emotions and states is not always beneficial.

But great grandma Dotty never thought like the norm, and she believed she was better off for it. She’d always be invited to a dinner party, a dessert gathering, or a birthday celebration because she loved the joy of celebrating with others, even if that meant having some cake. She chose to enjoy her life on her own terms.

Don’t Shower if You Can Bathe

“Although very few of the claims for healing baths are backed by rigorous scientific studies, the anecdotal evidence for their efficacy is abundant,” says Minneapolis-based dermatologist Bailey Lee, MD. Baths are a commonly cited remedy for minimizing stress and reducing anxiety.

Great grandma Dotty didn’t back her claims with science, but she did always advocate for a warm bath whenever possible. Why would she get clean standing when she could lay down and relax? This was how great grandma Dotty operated. Her life was always her own. She never succumbed to social expectations.

Great grandma Dotty was definitely on to something with her preference for bathing. Warm baths have scientifically researched mental and physical benefits. Psychologist Neil Morris surveyed 80 people and discovered that bathing diminished feelings of doubt and pessimism because the experience gave way to isolation, quiet, and much needed comfort. So, when everybody else was showering, great grandma Dotty would create some peace and quiet by taking a bath.

Final Thoughts

Great grandma Dotty still wore her bifocals after smaller, more pleasant looking glasses were invented. She had a certain style to her, and she loved being known for that. She was Dotty, the bifocal wearing, cake eating, mouth full talking, bathing woman who set herself apart from the rest of the pack. This is how to bring originality to your life. Until the moment she passed, Dotty was unequivocally content.

Focus on being known for having a few things about you that really stand out. Do a couple things that are slightly different than those around you. Embrace these supposed abnormalities, and you too will be known for something long after you’re gone. Just like great grandma Dotty, the most amiably eccentric person there was.