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Chip Chick
His Fiancée Returned From Vacation And Told Him She's Moving Out So She Can Be A Hippy While Living In A Van
2022-05-20
A man is engaged to his fiancée named Kay, and when his fiancée was little, she really didn't have a great childhood.
Kay's parents argued nonstop and had no sympathy for her or her siblings. Kay's parents expected her to work hard, and they didn't care if she struggled through something or got relentlessly bullied; they wanted her to just figure it out.
As you can imagine, Kay's childhood left some lasting, deep-seated issues with her that she battles to this day.
Kay struggles with being "good enough" and thinking that she's deserving of love. Kay also doesn't genuinely like herself, and he has come to learn all of these things about her over the course of their 3-year relationship.
He has enjoyed his life with Kay, and he proposed to her just a couple of months ago. They then got a house and a puppy too.
Everything was almost rainbows and unicorns for them, except for him and Kay both feeling as if their love for one another was diminishing slightly as they just went more and more about their daily lives.
Kay was the one who brought this up first, and they did try to do some things to get closer to one another and get their spark back.
Recently, Kay went to another country for a week on vacation with some of her loved ones. When she came home, she was not the same Kay she was when she had left.
"She gets back from vacation, sits me down, and tells me she wants some space," he explained.
"She explains that traveling to a foreign country has made her realize how much more of life there is to live out there, and how she’s not ready for the monotony of just going through the motions as a married couple."
"She kept telling me how she feels that there is no time to be reckless, that our lives are consumed with housework, taking care of the pets, etc. and it all feels meaningless."
"I obviously start freaking out a bit, but tell her I’m committed to really trying to turn things around and explore/adventure more in our free time."
Kay then said that she would go stay with one of their friends for the night and take some time to herself, which he was fine with.
Kay stayed with her friend for just one night before coming back, and it turns out she lied to him about where she was.
Kay stayed with one of her coworkers named Dan instead of her friend, which he obviously was not accepting of.
Apparently, Kay had chatted with Dan one week prior to going on vacation, and it was Dan who "helped her discover" some things.
Dan helped her see that she had a lot of baggage from her childhood that she was lugging around but never had a chance to get rid of.
"Her conflict-avoidant self sought help with Dan, who is a very emotionally in tune “hippy” for a lack of a better word," he said.
"As they talked over her trip, she bought more and more into the idea of leaving everything behind, moving out, and living in a van."
"She wanted a space to be able to find herself, to confront these deep-rooted issues, and be around people who would have deep emotional conversations about who they are."
Dan has given her some resources for starting her hippy journey, and so Kay is planning on actually moving out of their place so she can go out there and discover herself.
Although Kay will no longer be living with him, she doesn't want to break up. She just wants to live her life on her own terms, go several days without having to talk to him, live with some hippy groups, and come back occasionally to still go on dates and do things with him.
"...I think I believe her," he continued. "Am I being played? Is she just getting out of breaking up with me by pushing me away and doing this?"
Do you think Kay is not telling him the truth, or do you think she really is just hoping to find herself so she can be the best version of herself for their relationship to succeed?
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