My kid is an nightmare. And it's my fault.

Photo byEdi LibedinskyonUnsplash

I am a single mom who co-parents with my ex (43m). He gets Aaron every other weekend and holidays (what he wanted before y’all come at me). Aaron’s dad isn’t financially or support system stable and was even homeless for about a year. Custody time was not suspended, and I even paid for my kid’s furniture and clothes when the ex got back into housing. And once or twice for hotel stays on the ex’s weekend after I found out he used my kid to get into the homeless shelter during a pandemic.

I bought a house last year, got a dog, and enrolled Aaron in a new school. The American dream, right?

And Aaron is awesome. He’s smart, funny, creative, and kind. With me? An absolute sweetheart who loves cuddles and Minecraft. Sometimes I get called into work at the nursing home, and he’s respectful and kind. If we go out to banquets for sportsman’s club or family events? Charming and sweet.

Until he gets to school. This kid (MY KID) choked slammed another kid on the playground for throwing his hat in a mud puddle. He told his teacher that he hated her face and then tore up a writing assignment. He’s rude to his classmates and doesn’t listen.

I’ve worked with the school, we are on check-in, check-out. He sees a counselor once a week, has chores at home, and his grades are good.

I’m taking him for ADHD screening next month because I have it.

I think it may be a bit of only-child syndrome. My entire life has revolved around him since I left his dad when he was 8 months old. He’s the closest grandchild for my parents, my grandparents, and a crazy child-free auntie to spoil (5 kids, 9 grandkids, and only Aaron is 15 minutes away. All the others are hours away or out of state).

His dad’s life revolves around him because, despite being a dysfunctional human, he cares for this kid. He’s flawed, and I couldn’t fix my ex or stay married to him for my own safety, but he’s never missed custody, and I believe he loves his son. We’ve been cool co-parenting for a while, and my ex calls almost every other day and has been involved in the school stuff.

All of Aaron’s life, he’s been surrounded by “Old people” who adore him, and now he struggles with his own cohort and his teachers, who know that he’s just another human in a sea of other humans.

I am the second oldest of five; I got nothing as a child and was expected to look after the littles. And I admit I spoiled this boy.

How do I let my kid know, in a kind and age-appropriate way, that he is not the main character?