My 9 year old is being exposed to things I don't agree with

Photo byNational Cancer InstituteonUnsplash

My 9-year-old son has made a new friend who is 13 years old. She is the older sibling of a friend he made at his dad’s house, and I do not know them or their parents. They live in his dad’s neighborhood. Recently, my son mentioned to me that his friend is in the mental hospital because she is suicidal. He explained that her parents caught her smoking weed, grounded her, causing her to run away and become suicidal, and had to be hospitalized. I was shocked to hear this because I have never heard my son talk about drugs or suicide before.

Initially, I reacted poorly and told my son that he should not be friends with someone who smokes weed. However, I quickly realized that he is just a 9-year-old and doesn’t fully understand the consequences of his actions. I then explained to him that I appreciated his honesty, but I needed to tell his dad so that he can keep an eye on him around this girl. My son begged me not to tell his dad, fearing that he would no longer be allowed to play with his friends. I am stuck in a dilemma because I want to keep my son safe but also do not want to break his trust.

As a mother, I know that my priority is my son’s safety and well-being. Even if it means risking our relationship, I need to tell his dad about the situation. His dad and I may not be close, but we talk about things concerning our son, and that’s it. His dad is a strict person, so there is a possibility that he might not allow our son to hang out with his friends anymore. I also talked to my son and explained to him the importance of staying away from dangerous situations and people.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to keep our children safe and informed. I will talk to his dad about the situation and ask him to keep an eye on our son when he is at his house. Also, I want to talk to my son about what he can do if he ever finds himself in a similar situation. I’ll reassure him that he can trust me and that I am only looking out for his best interests. I also want to make sure that my son understands that he can always come to me with anything that is bothering him.

Would you do the same in my shoes?