I’m a mom that's scared of my 6-year-old nephew

Photo byAlexander KrivitskiyonUnsplash

My nephew has had a very hard life, both his parents are addicted and have abandoned him. He lives with my father who is extremely neglectful and abusive (he didn’t hit my nephew but he did with me and my siblings). He’s pretty much left alone constantly, my father doesn’t play with him doesn’t take him outside, and doesn’t even get him to school. He will be repeating kindergarten because of this.

He also has a very low sense of danger, he doesn’t understand he could die as he very much believes he is immortal which isn’t that strange for a 6-year-old. He understands other people can die, just not him.

So now that you have a little context here's the story, he stole a lighter from my father brought it to his bedroom, and started his bean bag chair on fire. Since my father is neglectful he was asleep in the middle of the day. Finally, my nephew got scared enough that he woke my dad up in tears and kept saying “It’s so bad” My dad kept asking what it was and he wouldn’t say. A few seconds later the alarms went off and my dad sprung into action. He put my nephew outside and a neighbor lady held him. The neighbors, my husband and my dad both went to put the fire out until the smoke eventually drove them out. My dad suffered severe smoke and was taken to the hospital via ambulance.

This is the part that scares me, my nephew was very concerned about his grandpa, and when we said “Wow bud you’re really scared for grandpa” he said “It’s just that if he dies, I’m gonna be in way more trouble.” he also refuses to take responsibility for the fire, he admits that he did it but he says the lighter was cursed so it couldn’t have possibly been his fault. That if Grandpa died, it wasn’t his fault. And that he didn’t care if everyone in the building died because he was immortal and would live. He then elaborated and made it clear, he doesn’t care if anyone, anywhere dies because of his reckless actions.

He even argued with the paramedics. Saying he wanted to go back inside and get his phone. The paramedics told him it was dangerous. He told the paramedics he was invincible and they giggled at him. He got very frustrated and said “What part of invincible don’t you guys understand”. That’s when it became unfunny.

Obviously, my nephew started this fire because he’s been abused and neglected and he wanted an out. He was supposed to come live with me in July, he just didn’t know that. I am now terrified of him. I’m scared that he’s going to get here and after a few months decide he doesn’t wanna be here anymore and burn my house down too. I want to help him so badly and I’m the last person who can. Social services will not take him away from my family because you know how social services are. The only shot he’s got at a semi-normal life is if he comes with me.

But I am just so scared of him.

I know he needs so much therapy. I know he needs so much help and I know I can give that to him. I just can’t stop thinking about him, possibly killing me or my animals or starting a fire. He is a violent child. He hits a lot he attacks people weekly. I know it’s not his fault because of what has happened to him.