Spring Cleaning 2023! “De-Crap Da Howze!”

A note: Aren’t you lucky that I am not part of the writer’s guild and on strike?? What’s that? Women’s Survival Guide is Free? Well, yes, it is. But, did you know, that you can upgrade to paid subscription and beat the rush come July and some pieces are hiding behind a paywall? It is possible. See below. Thank you to all who signed up last week. I am walking on air!

It’s the week before Mother’s Day…I’ll be thinking up something really deep and heartfelt to say in the following days. But, in the meantime, I have been up to all sorts of things. It’s been busy busy. There is something about a post-Covid Spring that compels (propels?) everyone to get out, gather and dress up. Remind me to tell you about the night out with friends to the Improv and they signed me up as a volunteer without telling me about it. Priceless.

Yesterday, I went to a memorial service for a friend’s father. I knew him to be a kind man and attentive Grandfather. He was the type of man who left nothing on the table. No regrets. He was all in, in life and family. A common thread in his kids’ eulogies was how much time they spent together as a family. This was in great part due to his insistence for it to be so. His kids, now in their 50s, noted that as teenagers their Dad’s zest for family time was chafing, and they told him so. Someone like their Dad was not bothered by a little dissent. That’s nice, see you at the dinner table. Next!

He loved spending time with his wife and two kids (and later four grandchildren and their parents) and he loved to plan. He’d plan a trip a year in advance and it was a command performance. The trips were exciting and exhilarating. He put his heart and soul into planning them. But, typically anytime someone tries to corner and command you to do anything it can be vexing. In the end, however, everyone agreed he was always right. Sometimes in order to realize the value of spending time with your family you have to actually spend the time with your family.

Attending the memorial service reminded me that relationships do not happen without work. Family is no different. I have noted this before, but we can all use the reminder. It might come down to you to make the plans if no one else will. Suggesting the event, and demanding your sweet family’s presence may also come down to you. Just know that the effort is worth it….(thank you, Dad. Where to next?).

Onward.

2023 Double Whammy Crap and De-crapping, Spring Cleaning Time!

My husband has left for California to be with his brother. You know what that means? De-Crap Da Howze, Baby!

The Double Whammy is that not only am I totally alone in the house, it’s time for Spring Cleaning! This means I can empty every drawer and cabinet in the house and leave it that way until I thoroughly clean and rearrange everything. And, no witnesses on trash day! This NEVER happens!! Other than a dog and cat, there is no one who will come into the space I am tearing apart! My fear is that Pel (husband) may find me under a pile of plastic garbage bags smothered to death by a fallen mountain of debris and expired vitamins.

I am saddened by the amount of expired items in the pantry, see red circle above. I thought I had just done the pantry de-crapping, but alas, it was probably several years ago. Everything in the pantry has a 2019 expiration date which means that the last time I did this was probably 2019 and I left all the newly expired food-stuffs because, why be wasteful. Why didn’t I use the almond flour or arrow root? Why the hell did I have bags of almond flour and arrow root?! I guess I forgot why I bought them and now they are expired by four years and in a lovely trash bag.

But, the Spring Cleaning 2023 “De-Crap Da Howze!” isn’t limited to the pantry. Oh, no… I am attacking the kitchen drawers, too. Do your drawers need new liner? I’ll bet they do! Mine did and so…I relined them. And I also ran all the plastic food containers and silverware holders through the dish washers. Yes, I did! You can too. It’s amazing what you might find when you actually look at what is in your cutlery drawer. Ten old wine corks, to-go chop sticks and fake silver plastic forks, those long skinny spoons with a rubber covered end for feeding babies? The “babies” have moved on. Why hasn’t this spoon? The galling thing is the lack of discipline. Metal “straws” in the cutlery drawer?! WTF? I sure as heck didn’t put the metal straws in that drawer. They go in the lower drawer that has all the water bottles and glass Tupperware.

I have also ventured into the refrigerator. Not for a snack. No, not now, maybe later. No. I went with courage into the freezer and took out box after box of greatly expired frozen things. Lemmon grass. Boil in bag rice. Fancy burgers. And, most nasty, those old brown/black bananas I swore I’d make banana bread out of. I used to when the girls were around. I should, still. But, I haven’t.

Spring Cleaning 2023 has exploded beyond the kitchen. Did I mention Pel (husband) is away? The basement was crying out for a de-crapping. To the rescue I flew down, trash bags in hand, hands in gardening gloves. But wait. Let me explain myself. I know and I mean, I know not to touch my husbands stuff. Not going to do it. Wouldn’t be prudent. But, there are boxes of my very own crap in the basement that never should have made it past the front door let alone live in our basement for the past fifteen years. Additionally, I am weeding out the ten zillion cans of paint that are no longer liquid. Ditto for the dozens of tubs of spackling. Then there are those precious paintings I did in my twenties when I sat alone in my apartment after work watching Cheers and trying to copy a Hopper. They are not very good. I want to throw them out but there is something so sad and hopeful about them. Pre-Internet activities during the Must Watch era of TV.

Serious progress was made today in Spring Cleaning 2023 “De-Crap Da Howze!” (T Shirts available). I have so much more to say but I need to go to sleep. FYI, I will try hard to get Pel to do his Picks next week. “Pel’s Picks” are books that he has read and he does a blurb about them. Here is a link to his first one. Book clubs, take note!

Also, I have interviewed Deborah Copaken of Lady Parts! It’s going to be a really fab interview. More to come on that!!

Finally, You’ll be getting an official schedule of stuff so you can look forward to what’s next!

xo

K