Opinion/Satire: Is It Time We Impeached All 535 Members of Congress?

PixabayPhoto byPawel86

The swell of rhetoric is rising once again in Washington, like the waves along either coast after Hurricanes Idalia and Hillary swept through.

Only this time the damage won’t be to boats, roofs, RVs parked in driveways, houses along hilltops, or cars floating off Dealer lots on Main Street. It will be to our democracy - but heck it will be entertaining.

House Speaker McCarthy mentioned on Fox News recently that the impeachment of sitting President Joe Biden was a “natural step forward,” and that since the House has been on summer recess, “When we go back, we’ll discuss this. But we find new information every week.”

Ever get the impression that our political leaders have an unhealthy fascination with Alien Life Forms because they’re constantly referring to ongoing investigations, hidden troves of as yet unreleased documents, and new lines of inquiry that will break things wide one and yet after careful and seemingly endless deliberations - nothing happens.

No pictures of real spacecraft are shown on the Six O’clock News. No pictures of little green men or women are revealed, even in blurred black-and-white images. No first-person testimonials are provided that show credible witnesses detailing their experiences in a spaceship being poked, probed, and otherwise interfered with.

Nothing new that hasn’t already been shown on some Reality TV docuseries that aired in 2012, 2022, and again tomorrow night.

First, we had the initial Trump Impeachment in December 2019 with its trial being held the following January.

Then, as a result of great ratings, advertising revenue, and national attention being given to real crimes and not the scripted variety we see on shows like Judge Judy or Tribunal Justice, Washington decided to do it again and a second impeachment trial was held in January 2021.

The result: a resounding win (sort of) for all Americans … and … well, some pretty cool ratings, photo ops, and a slew of follow-up interviews on every station with a microphone and antenna on the roof.

That kept all of us and thousands of news personalities busy for 2021, and 2022 and based on how things are proceeding with the “Impeachee” who knows what will be next.

But let’s face it, Americans like proper endings. They want the good detective to solve the crime, catch the serial killer or at least push him into an active volcano (wait until next season to see what happens).

They appreciate a good romance where the woman gets the guy or the guy the woman and love springs eternal.

Or the alien federation is defeated and the planet saved from destruction.

No one likes endings that leave it to the viewer’s imagination what really happened. The hero disappears after spelunking in a giant cave somewhere in Malaysia with some eerie music playing in the background as the camera peers into the darkness.

No. We want a good ending.

Did the bad guy do it? Does he or she get captured and sent to prison on some deserted island, living with a displaced herd of creatures that were once part of a failed biology experiment?

We want results.

So … if we move forward and methodically impeach all members of the House and Senate, in alphabetical order, with the same bill of particulars to keep things simple, we will eventually find and eliminate the real problems in our government.

Yes, some of the good ones will be sent home, but with laws being as they are, there are no doubt loopholes to be used to get some of them back on the ballot for the next election.

In the end a relatively clean slate. A new beginning in Washington.

Think of it like a game of poker, where the person holding a crap hand can ask and get 5 new cards and better odds of winning the pot.

A win, win situation for all of us, and heck, it’s about time.