Opinion/Satire: Ready for a $40 Beer and a Juicy $25 Hot Dog? Ready or Not Here They Come

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Ah, the sound of 45,000 pennant-crazed fans screaming for their teams, while warm beer flows down onto the box seats below - oops sorry!

There's nothing like the smells of summer baseball. The heat rising off the grass. The hushed sounds of thousands of fans holding their breaths as the pitcher goes into his wind-up.

The unforgettable cracking sound of a ball lofted to centerfield as the centerfielder runs back, back to the warning track - will he or won't he make the catch? Yes!

Game over, one more in the win column. As Dad ushers his kids from their seats. with their $20 pennants and bobbleheads in hand. Bits of mustard and relish on their $70 replica jerseys as he looks for his car keys reaches inside his wallet for the parking ticket and eyes the space where 5 hundred dollar bills were just three hours before.

What's another day of overtime on Sundays when you get to see those smiles on your kid's faces? Well, maybe two days now with the Dodgers having Shohei Ohtani on their roster.

Think of a Billion dollars. Now shave off $300 million - you know the amount paid to one of those guys on the San Diego Padres and what do you have left? Shohei Ohtani.

The new $700 Million Man.

The best baseball player in history. Well, not including those guys from way back in the past, like Ruth, Cobb, Mays, Aaron, Speaker, Page. They were old-school baseball.

They couldn't hit today's fastballs and cutters thrown by 6-foot 7-inch pitchers who've been groomed to do just one thing since they were four years old.

And you know what they say about numbers - they either go up or they go down and you can bet that salaries across the league will be on the rise as agents everywhere read Nez Balelo's (Ohtani's agent) soon-to-be bestselling how-to memo on how he broke the $500 million barrier and kept climbing.

How his client Ohtani will be financially secure for the next 10 years. Well, a little further if he keeps to a budget.

And for those wondering about the math, that's $70 million per year. $1.35 million per week. And for those really into sabermetrics and all things statistical that will be roughly $466,600 per inning (if he goes 150 innings in 2024) or why not --- about $5200 per pitch - strike, ball, in the dirt, over the batter's head, doesn't matter.

Think of it another way.

For what he makes in one inning throwing a baseball, Los Angeles City might be employing 8 new bus drivers for a year.

For what he makes in one week, even when he's sunning with his family in Tahiti in January, the City of Oakland Ca might be hiring about 30 new teachers for their schools.

Or what Silicon Valley might be paying out for 2.37 CEOs of major tech companies. The buck just doesn't stretch very far in the San Francisco Bay Area.

29 years old. Imagine how Shohei feels right now as he continues rehabbing his second major surgery on his pitching arm since 2018.

What he's thinking as the reality sets in that with a guaranteed contract he will collect his weekly paycheck rain or shine. Bad outings on the mound or great. .300 batting average or .280 or .264 those checks will keep coming and that doesn't include endorsements with companies like Nike, Addidas, Suntory, Asahi, Gatorade, and others.

A generational player capable of striking out the best MLB players while batting over .300 and hitting 44 home runs last season.

What might he be capable of if he stays healthy 162 games a year?

And we should all care, right? I mean a Michael Jordan doesn't come around every year. Or a Shohei Ohtani.

And in all fairness, this guy has the goods. Not since Babe Ruth in 1914 through 1919 have we seen so many strikeouts and great hits coming from the same player.

He's worth a $75 bleacher seat or a $125 box seat or five times that through some broker when the Dodgers are playing a playoff-bound team.

And the $40 beer mentioned above, probably won't be that high - maybe $30 max. And that hot dog, well, they are good.

The thing is and this is all very subjective as most sports people will admit, is anyone worth $70 million a year for playing baseball, basketball, or soccer?

We do get outraged and for good reason when the factory worker makes $72,000 a year while the CEO brings in $28,000,000 plus stock options.

Or when the hedge fund manager hits $250,000,000 while people lose their pensions and savings.

But this is America's pastime and not Wall Street. This is strikeouts, no-hitters, and World Series wins. It's different, right?

On the other hand, we're talking about someone who plays ball from April through October. That's seven months for you stats fans. And if we wanted to be more exact and say he's actually making $10,000,000 a month for the seven months he's actually working ... nah, best not to go there.

Suffice it to say it's a lot. And the thing is, it's just the beginning. Other agents in all sports will be bringing their clients to the table and they won't be referring to Mike Trout's $400+ million contract anymore, but Ohtani's.

The bar has been raised -- for athletes - and agents.

But for sports fans, well the bar has been raised as well.

You can all look forward to higher-priced seats, higher-priced beers, pretzels, and hot dogs. Not to mention bobbleheads (when they are not given away free, there is a silver lining), pennants, jerseys, spas in the special club lounges, and all the other perks.

And when you have to dip into savings or pull out the ole Amex card to take you and the family to see the Dodgers Mets Yankees or any other big city team, just know you're seeing the best sports players in the world and they're worth every penny you're shelling out - honest.