What’s wrong with me? I hate resealable food bags

I know those are strong words but has anyone ever really been able to open those bags and reseal them? It is impossible. They must have been invented by the same happy drunk who just wanted a laugh.

I have tried resealable bags of sliced cheese, luncheon meats, salad mix and guacamole, and none of those bags reseal. Some make you think they are different because they give you a little groove to help start the opening of the bag. But when you tear along the groove (if you are strong enough), it doesn’t even open the bag enough to get to the resealable part, so you still have to find another way of opening it.

If you bring the food to a relaxing picnic in the park, you have the challenge of opening the bags without a sharp tool. I’ve tried a plastic knife — no luck. I’ve tried the blade or little scissors that come on a pen knife, if I remember to bring one. As precisely as possible, I’ve cut just above the sealing part but still can’t get to the food.

Finally, I stabbed the bag below the seal with a pen and pulled the food out because I am getting hungry. Now I have no chance of keeping my food fresh by zipping that sucker closed, but at least I have gotten rid of some of my frustration.

Depending on where I am, I can do one of three things. I can find a bigger plastic bag to put the resealable bag in and hope the food will stay fresh for a few days, I can look for a paper clip or tape to reseal it as best I can, or I can eat the remaining food and throw away that “convenient” resealable bag. Depending on my hunger, I make my choice.

I think there should be a “Truth in Advertising” label on these products. “This item will most likely not reseal. Always have a knife or scissors handy. Do not put the plastic bag over your head.”