5 dementia-friendly ways to show love on Mother’s Day

(NATIONAL) — Nearly two-thirds of Americans living with Alzheimer’s disease are women, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH). With Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday, May 12, The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA) is offering some ideas for celebrating Mother’s Day with loved ones suffering from dementia.

“Mother’s Day is all about honoring the mother figures in our lives who loved, nurtured, and supported us. If a special woman in your life lives with dementia, taking a few small steps will go a long way to help her feel the love and appreciation she deserves on Mother’s Day,” said Jennifer Reeder, LCSW, AFA’s Director of Educational and Social Services. “Making a few minor adaptations can help celebrate the bond you share with your loved one in a dementia-friendly manner.”

Here are five ways to make Mother’s Day a joyful time, if your loved one is living with dementia or a dementia-related illness.

1. Reminisce together over old photos . Focus on the feelings old photos evoke. Avoid asking your loved one “Do you remember?” when looking at a photo of a person or place, as this can be embarrassing for a person with a memory disorder. Instead, look at the photos together and describe them for her. Be patient and attentive while listening to your loved one’s stories and memories—even if those memories are a bit jumbled or inaccurate. The validation will make her feel heard, understood, and loved.
2. Make a homemade Mother’s Day card . Even if she can’t quite grasp the full meaning of the words, your effort to make the card, and read it aloud will be meaningful.
3. Create new memories . Plan an activity that is strengths-based and person-centered, meaning it is appropriate to what your loved one feels comfortable doing and can easily enjoy.
4. Adapt old favorites . Be creative and adapt a favorite activity to your loved one’s level of ability. For example, order food from a favorite restaurant to enjoy at home. Or, if she enjoys cooking, make something together but assign her tasks like mixing ingredients rather than following or remembering a recipe.
5. Bring flowers . The enjoyment of a beautiful bouquet does not depend on memory. Flowers are calming, smell wonderful, and reduce stress. A bouquet in her room or by her bed can help promote positive feelings even after the day is over.

If you would like more support, AFA’s Helpline is staffed entirely by licensed social workers who are specifically trained in dementia care. The Helpline is available seven days a week by phone at (866) 232-8484, text message to (646) 586-5283, or web chat at www.alzfdn.org .

The AFA is a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide support, services, and education to individuals, families, and caregivers affected by Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias nationwide and to fund research for better treatment and a cure.

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