Throckmorton: The threat of contentiousness

“As coals are to burning coals, and wood is to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” — Proverbs 26:21

I awakened sometime during the night last night, and the word “contentious” just jumped out of my head.

It brought to mind my mother, who was famous for saying, “Oh, those contentious people!” when discord erupted. I don’t hear that word often used these days; nonetheless, contentiousness is still alive and well.

Contentious means being quarrelsome, argumentative, and belligerent. Merriam-Webster defines the word as exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes.

Habakkuk 1:3 NIV asked God, “Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.” In his great debate with God, this prophet questioned the morally objectionable behavior, the absence of moral or spiritual values, and the injustice and contentiousness in practice in Judah.

This can undoubtedly parallel the behavior across our country today. We may struggle to understand — just as Habakkuk did — but it is not ours to understand it all; we must believe God is in control and will be our avenger.

Put contentiousness on a more personal level. The failing economy has left many individuals and families in dire straits. Many have lost their homes, bills have piled up, and lifestyles have been altered; worry, anxiety, and fear have replaced the easy-going every day. Contentious spirits ensue.

A marked dissimilarity exists between having a different opinion and having a controversial spirit. Contentiousness is negative, mean-spirited, and filled with pride and arrogance. Contentiousness threatens the very core of all relationships.

Living in an atmosphere of endless controversy and relentless bickering is wearisome. Now is the time to go into your closet and earnestly pray for direction. We can easily recognize a contentious spirit in those around us; yet we deny that we may harbor those same behaviors. What an ill turn of events when we tear down the relationships of those we love. If only we could follow the teachings of the Apostle Paul.

“Love must be sincere,” Paul says in Romans 12:9-12. “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

It is challenging to overcome our natural inclinations and reactions to disagreements. What a breeding ground this creates for Satan. Be joyful, patient, and faithful, said the apostle. Our lesson here is to apply this to the daily turmoil we are hurled into. The life we live with a contentious spirit serves Satan. The peaceful life we live is the by-product of how we serve God.

Most of us have learned how to pretend to love others — speak kindly, avoid hurting their feelings, and pretend to be interested in their lives. We may even feign compassion or act indignant when we learn of some injustice. But God calls us to a higher level of sincerity that is far above pretense. It means helping others to become better people. It demands our time, money and personal involvement.

Think about your immediate community. Does it embody the likeness of Jesus Christ? Do we, as individuals, walk the walk as we talk the talk? Do we look for people who need our love, and do we look for ways to show them love?

Discussions of topics like politics, religion, the education of our children, abortion, and many others can lead to contentiousness. Those who engage in contentious debates sometimes have a strong — and maybe stubborn tendency — to quarrel and dispute. My son is kind to me when he says, “Yes, my mother loves a good debate.” Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but we must be willing to hear another out without being quarrelsome.

The path of the upright person isn’t always easy, but look at the alternatives: hatred, discord and laziness.

But an honorable, upstanding person does not have to face those issues. By comparison, their life is a smooth, level road built on a solid foundation of love for God.