Danny Rouhier thinks the Commanders’ new team pet is, quite frankly, for the birds.
Or the dogs, in this case, since it’s a canine – but yes, the Commanders announced that Barney, an 11-week-old black Labrador Retriever that is training to become a service dog through Warrior Canine Connection, is the newest member of the roster, and Danny is NOT feeling it.
How ANYONE could not love the fact that the beginning of a partnership between the Commanders and WCC, a Maryland-based non-profit that breeds, trains, and places service dogs with veterans, brings us this adorable little guy, but funny Danny is not amused.
“You would think this would be a universally-beloved, well-received, make everybody happy announcement, but No Fun Rouhier had other ideas,” GP said as he read the team’s release. “Barney is adorable, and looks like he or she is ready to hang out with you and just make your day better. I see this and I go, I like this about the Commanders; everyone's gonna get behind Barney and here’s one thing we can all agree upon…and then I get to work today and Danny Rouhier is stewing.”
“That’s an exaggeration; it’s a perfectly fine dog, but does the team have a left tackle? Does the team have a right tackle worth a damn, or a new receiver? No,” Danny shot back. “Not for me, I don’t care. The dog’s cute, lots of cute dogs, but that’s all we do, just post pictures of cool dogs. He doesn’t play tackle or receiver, and that’s what I care about.”
Danny wants someone who will play fetch with a pigskin on two legs and in shoulder pads, apparently.
“I’m weird about stuff like this, I fully acknowledge it, but I like the football team to do football things. I want them focused on football. I'd like the football team to just be a football team,” our resident Grumpadoodle said. “Just go through the routines of being a football team. I don't need you to be anything else. I don't need you to wade into any other waters other than the football part. I'm here to consume football.”
Yeah, stick to that sportsball, Josh Harris, and forget about Poochie and company!
“Now, Adam Peters didn’t go to the dog store to pick out Barney, or go to the pound and donate a couple bucks and grab ol’ Barney and say ‘we're going to plaster her everywhere’ and they go, ‘sir, we need to sign a kicker’ and he goes, ‘I don't have time for that, I’m getting Barney, I need to make sure that I pick out the perfect dog for us,’” Grant mockingly said. “I don't think they have a scouting department to pick their dog. I think someone on social media posted a picture, and the dog will be at a couple of games, and that's kind of the end of it.”
“I’m into the football team trying to win some football games. Now, I understand that the social media tweet team isn't responsible for them winning or losing football games, but this is a job with the level of trust I'd have for Martin Mayhew,” Danny shot back. “There's something that he could do is go ahead and find that dog; find the next cute dog in the draft, buddy.
I don't care. Don’t tell me about that, tell me about the football. I understand everyone's there, we’re in the offseason and everyone’s trying to do their jobs and create content – I don’t care. I don't care about the dog or anything else, I care about the football operational things.”
If you want to end your day on a down note, listen to the full audio above…and then maybe go make a donation to your local animal shelter in Danny’s name?
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