'AITA after kicking daughter, who wants to be SATHM forever, out of my home'

A torn mother has taken to the internet to ask whether she is out of line to kick her daughter out of her home. The daughter, the mother said, is pregnant and wants to keep the baby, but doesn't want to be a mother.

The father of the upcoming baby, who has been dating the pregnant 19-year-old for four years, still lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to go to college. Similarly, the mother said that while her daughter originally wanted to be a nurse, she has now decided against that career path and will now instead focus on being a stay-at-home mom.

The mother, who is only 35 and had daughter when she was just a teenager, said that her daughter told her that her boyfriend wanted to move in with her, where they would be full-time parents. The mother, writing online, stipulated that the only way that could happen was if she pursued an education. The daughter didn't appreciate this and expected her mother to agree to the move, plus give her her college allowance to spend on herself and the baby, reports Some E Cards.

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"I'm 35 and the mother to a 19-year-old girl. We live in a state where terminating pregnancy is legal. I had my daughter very young and I don't regret it, but I would never encourage it due to how hard it was. I had little to no support and I would never wish the pain I went through on anyone," the mother wrote online.

"My daughter's father passed when I was pregnant and she has no step father. It has always just been the two of us. I was kicked out of my home the second my family found out that I was pregnant, no questions asked, and we haven't been in contact since then. I've since moved halfway across the country, and I will not ever be reconciling.

"My daughter has been dating her boyfriend for roughly 4 years now. Her boyfriend is the same age as her and not a bad kid, but he is still a child in my eyes. They both are. Her boyfriend still lives with his parents and refuses to go to college.

"My daughter wanted to be a nurse but is now deciding that she won't pursue a career because she wants to be a SAHM forever. She would've been going to school this fall, but decided to unenroll before it began.

"When my daughter came to me two weeks ago telling me that she's 2 months pregnant I sat her down. I did not want her to go through the same things I went through. I asked her how this happened and she said that it was planned."

Further explaining her situation, the mother said that she was willing to work through the predicament with her daughter. However, she wasn't willing to compromise on her initial ideas.

"She and her boyfriend mutually decided that they wanted to be parents and this horrified me because she knows all about the struggle we went through together and that I went through alone. I regretfully called her stupid and was upset, but told her that we can work through this together.

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"Since she decided that she was keeping this baby, I gave her stricter rules, told her how it works, told her what's going to change, and that she will be getting an education under my roof. These terms are nonnegotiable.

"My daughter did not like these terms. She fully expected me to allow her boyfriend to move in (who is unemployed, by the way), give her her college fund as money to spend on the baby, the two of them as a couple, and whatever else she wants, not pursue an education, and still go out whenever she wanted.

"I told her that I will watch her baby when she's at school and for a few hours a day when she does homework. I also said that I will watch her baby on Saturdays and Saturdays alone so that she can still have fun and be somewhat of a teenager.

"I wish that I was given one day out of the week to recharge, take a break from being a mom, and enjoy my childhood. I know that this is very lenient, but I love my daughter.

"We ended up arguing almost every day since and my daughter's demands have gotten out of hand. She claims that they're very unfair and I told her to look up what teen pregnancy is like and what motherhood is all about because the conditions and rules that I gave her are very, very lax."

The mother told her daughter that, if she didn't agree to her rules, then she could live with her boyfriend's family. The daughter clearly wasn't happy with this prospect, and promptly moved out three days after their argument.

"I told her that if she will not abide by these rules, then she'll have to live with her boyfriend's family. She cried and yelled at me, but I put my foot down. She ended up moving out three days ago. We've never had a fight like this. We've argued about petty things such as sleepovers and parties, but it was always resolved within a few hours and was never serious like this.

"I've texted her multiple times that if she changes her mind on the pregnancy or the rules then she's more than welcome back home and that I will always love her no matter what she chooses. I also told her that she'll always be my baby girl and that I didn't want her to go, but we have no space for a full family, and being a mother means that your entire life will change.

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"My heart aches. I love my daughter and feel like I failed her as a mother despite being so involved. She knows all about safe intimacy, was never bullied, we were basically best friends (though I am still her mother and she has always known that. It isn't just fun. I do discipline her when I have to and we get along amazingly), and we do everything together. I never thought this would happen.

"She had no better reason to get pregnant than "I wanted to be a mom and I'm ready" but she isn't thinking about what a mother actually does. I know I made single motherhood look "easy" but it never was.

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"I worked two-three jobs for the majority of my life and didn't eat some days so that my daughter never went hungry and always had nice clothes. I only finally got a "real" job as a nurse 2 years ago after being in and out of school for over a decade.

" AITA for kicking her out? I thought that this was the best thing to do to teach her that things will be changing. I want her to come home, I really do, but if she won't accept these new rules and understand that motherhood is not easy, I can't just let her back in willingly. I feel like such an ahole."

The majority of responses to the mother's post assured her that she was in the right in the scenario. " N TA you didn’t really kick her out, she made her own choice. You were extremely lenient in your rules. If the boyfriend got a job, would you allow him to live there if he paid rent or something? So that way both parents would be in the same home?," one person wrote.

Another said: "NTA Call me cynical but I’m willing to bet the bf put this whole thing in her head to stop her from going to college and leaving him behind. Don't you ever allow this boy to move into your home."

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