Oracle Of Ybor: My friend’s close relative was just arrested for a terrible crime—how do I help her right now?

Dear Oracle,

I’ve been friends with “L” for over 20 years since we were 13. Recently, a close family member of hers was arrested for a terrible crime, which they pled guilty to. L is shocked and devastated and is trying to keep it together. She has made it clear that she isn’t ready to talk about this, but I want to help. Do the cards suggest a way to help her and her family in this trying time?—Friendship over felonies

Cards: Ten of Wands, The Seeker, The Hermit (reversed), Waning Crescent.

Dear FOF,

It is so difficult and complicated to learn that someone you love did something monstrous. It’s tempting to think that people who do bad things just radiate evil, but often, it’s only one side of them. They might also be thoughtful or funny or a caring parent or friend. It can feel impossible to hold the two truths of “this is a person I love and have wonderful memories with” and “this is a person who caused great hurt” at the same time.

Right now, your friend is dealing with this terrible burden. As the Ten of Wands, this will be something that feels like it will break her but won’t. She will (as will the rest of the family) have to push through. She can make it, but it is going to take an incredible amount of strength.
She is also going to be searching for answers. The Seeker and The Hermit reversed act as a pair for this. As The Seeker, L will probably be searching for the “why” of it. Why did they do this? Why didn’t I see it coming?

Movies and true crime podcasts like to mull over the “nature vs nurture” question when it comes to criminals, but what does that mean to someone who had the same upbringing and shares genes as a killer or child molester or serial rapist? Is this family member the only one who committed this crime or have others too?

With The Hermit reversed, I don’t think your friend will come to these answers very easily. If and when your friend is ready to talk, I encourage you to listen without judgment. Your friend is going to be grieving a past and trying to figure out a path forward. This might include telling you how angry they are at their family member one day and how much they miss them the next. They aren’t flip-flopping. They’re human. Relationships can be complex, and your friend will be working through a lot.

Send your questions for the Oracle to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram .

Find more of her and book services via carolinedebruhl.com Finally, we have the Waning Crescent, a card of peace and silence. You might take your friend to the movies. It’s out of the house, distracting, and doesn’t require a lot of talking. It’s also dark and one of the few public places you can cry without interference.

If they’re more into museums or nature hikes, try that, too—but keep it low energy. Your friend is going through a lot of turmoil, and providing her with peace and quiet might be the best thing right now. It shows her that you’re here, but you don’t require anything from her, even conversation.

Your friend will probably open up to you later on when she’s had time to process more things. When that time comes, listen. But until then, let your company be a place where your friend can rest in the cool dark.

Dear Oracle,

I had been planning on/working towards moving abroad to work in my company’s international office. My partner and I were very excited, and had prepared to move at the end of the summer but, after spending time with my new potential boss, all I saw were red flags. I declined the position and kept my “old” one. However, I feel like all this energy for a big change is still in the air. Any insight into what that might be?—Craving Change

Cards: Full Moon, The Empress, Ace of Pentacles, The Chariot (reversed) [plus The Moon]

Dear CC,

I want to be careful with this interpretation because it can go a few ways. The most obvious thing is you’re right. Change is in the air. With the power of the Full Moon saying, “Go go go!” and the Ace of Pentacles all abloom with opportunity, ideas, and hope, I’d say it’s definitely time to pivot to something else.

The Chariot reversed suggests to me that this pivot might be something you’ve wanted to do for a while but haven’t. It could be because it would be radically different or because the timing wasn’t right. But it is now.

You are The Empress, the compassionate sovereign and earthly mother, filled with fertility, worldly knowledge, and creativity. This might mean you start your own nonprofit. This might mean going into academia. This might mean “giving birth” to a novel. This might mean giving birth to a baby. (If this is it, talk to your partner first!) I don’t know what path you need to take.

However, I think you know. When I pulled a card for more information about The Empress, I got The Moon. The answer is right there in your subconscious.

Whatever this transition is, it’s something that you need to take the lead on. This is your time to rule and create (in whatever way you feel called to.) The Empress is not afraid of hard work and is a worthy adversary for any motherfucker dumb enough to try. Whatever this opportunity is, it’s calling for you right now. You and your partner seem game to embrace big change, so I hope that bravery carries you into your new direction and your partner can support you on that path. (If it’s “parenthood,” I hope your partner is on the same page.)

I’m sorry I can’t be more specific, but I think you need permission more than advice. So go Forth, Empress. Rule your own life.

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