‘My overweight wife doesn’t understand how to lose weight – I’m sick of her eating habits’

Understanding how to lose weight and become more healthy is pretty straightforward – move more and eat less.

However, putting that into practice isn’t always easy. Finding the motivation to make the right food choices and exercise can be difficult, especially when you add the everyday stresses of life into the mix.

A fed-up husband has revealed how he’s been trying to encourage his wife, who feels she is overweight, to make healthier choices but is getting frustrated with her progress. Taking to Reddit to ask for advice, he explained that his partner has been trying to shift the weight she gained over two pregnancies for a while.

He wrote: “Ever since the 2nd delivery she has been about 50 lbs (three and a half stone) overweight. She is no longer breastfeeding and kids are sleeping well now, and our life is pretty stable.

“She often mentions that she wants to lose weight and has tried a few things off and on like Noom, my fitness pal, but is not very consistent. She does a lot of things that I feel are incompatible with losing weight. After eating a normal-sized dinner where she serves the same portion that I eat (I am naturally skinny, and not trying to lose weight), she will frequently have a late snack around 8:30 or 9 like a bowl of cereal, piece of toast, or ice cream.

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“She also does not seem be able to deal with any amount of hunger. She has made comments like ‘I need a snack before dinner, all I ate for lunch was an apple, a bowl of yogurt with Granola, and cheese with crackers’. To me, that sounds like an adequate lunch for someone who is trying to cut calories.

“A few years ago when she was on a diet and I remarked about her having a late-night snack she got very defensive about it. Saying she knows, but has to have something to settle her stomach. She also likes to bake and make tasty treats and will make ice cream or cookies, or other things and involve our kids which is cute, but then we have a bunch of sweets around the house. And she has a sweet tooth.”

Continuing to vent, he added: “I try to be supportive. I haven't made any comments since that one a few years ago. I cook healthy dinners like chicken or fish with lots of veggies. But I feel like she is always setting herself up for failure. Also diet advice from a naturally tall skinny dude is impossible to be empathetic.

“But after making a nice healthy dinner and then seeing her eat a big bowl of cereal three hours later makes me want to say some snarky remarks about why she isn't losing weight. Does anyone have a similar experience? Anything useful I could say? Or should I just continue to hold my tongue?”

People reading the post were sympathetic to his wife’s struggle but agreed the situation would annoy them too. One person suggested: “You could suggest an appointment with a dietician to help her create a meal plan that works better for her tastes and unique hunger patterns, and who can also help her get a handle on any sort of emotional eating issues. But I don’t think you pointing out what she’s doing wrong is going to be productive.”

And someone else joked: “Omg there must be a course on this – what not to say to your wife!”

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