Simon Cowell was overcome with emotion on a recent episode of the Diary of a CEO podcast, hosted by the Dragons Den's Steven Bartlett, (UK's version of Shark Tank) , as he recounted the most harrowing time of his life.
The TV titan and music impresario had to pause the interview to compose himself, visibly moved to tears . He was reflecting on his ascent to fame with hit shows like America's Got Talent and X Factor when he received the devastating news of his father's passing.
Cowell shared his heartache, saying: "I think someone told my mum, 'Don't tell Simon' [while he was celebrating]. I phoned back and she told me and I thought, 'Oh my god, I can't believe it'. Because I genuinely, at that point in my life, I just believed my parents are gonna live forever. It was bad. It was tough."
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Delving into his faith and coping mechanisms, he continued: "However, I do believe in God and I do believe, because the hardest thing when you lose your parents is you can't even think about them afterwards because it's too difficult. Everything is. Then after a while, when I have a question in my mind, I do talk to them in my mind, like 'What would you do? ' And I know what they would say. I really do still believe they're with me, but that was a very bittersweet moment."
Opening up further, Cowell expressed deep regret, saying: "I would have swapped everything [my success] to have kept my dad around. All the things he taught me over the years... it was the longest trip home from America, that flight. It was bad. He was very wise and he did give me a good steer.", reports the Daily Star .
"He only lost his temper with me once. He never hit me, nothing like that, but he raised his voice once at me and that was enough. When he was angry at you, you knew it. I think he would have got a real kick from seeing me on a TV show."
Simon's father passed away before witnessing his son's success in television, while his mother lived to see the birth of Simon's son Eric, whom he shares with his fiancee Lauren Silverman.
The X Factor chief judge continued: "It was no question in my mind losing both my parents was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. I can sit here and look you in the eye and say that. Everyone says when you lose them, 'In time it'll get better', and you think, 'No, it won't'."
"The truth is it does, as long as you believe and you have to believe that their presence is still there with you. I do genuinely believe that with my mum and dad."
However, the topic seemed too overwhelming for Simon, who took a deep breath and told Steven: "Oh gosh, you'll have to give me a minute."
The celebrity then added: "My mum started to get dementia but fortunately saw Eric she bought him this brown blanket and he still has it. Literally everything is about the brown blanket."
"When he was about two or three, after she passed away, he looked up at the sky one night and said, 'I'm thinking about grandpa Eric and Julie', and just the way he said it... That's when I genuinely started to believe they are still somehow with us."
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