10 years ago I signed a student-loan agreement without reading it, and now I'm afraid I'll never own a home

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• Reading financial jargon at 18 was overwhelming, so I just signed whatever I needed to sign to start classes.
• Unlike federal student loans, private loans are not covered by student loan forgiveness plans.
• I fear that I'll never be able to own a home because of my student loans, but I'm focusing on solutions.

When I was 18, I was already overwhelmed with the amount of choices I needed to make.

Which career path should I pursue? Which school will I choose? Do I go with the school that gave me the most scholarships, or the one that offers programs I'm more interested in? How am I going to mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare to move out of my parents' house for the first time?

With all that to think about, researching student loans was the last thing I wanted to think about. All I wanted to do was start building a career and a life that I was passionate about as soon as possible. According to my school, I was eligible for federal student loans, but they weren't enough to cover the cost of my tuition.

Thankfully, my mom helped me by cosigning my student loans. However, reading financial jargon at 18 was really overwhelming, and I just signed whatever I needed to sign in order to start classes.

Here's how signing a private student loan changed my life.

I have barely made a dent in the principal amount of the loan 10 years later

For the longest time, I was too ashamed and guilty about my circumstances to even look at my Navient account. Once I finally checked it, I realized that the principal balance had actually increased, even though I had been making regular payments.

Because I went through financial hardship, I put my loans in forbearance for a few months. During that time, my loans racked up capitalized interest. To be honest, if my mom's credit wasn't on the line, I would opt out of paying my Navient bill just to build myself a healthy emergency fund .

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I'm afraid I'll never be able to save for big milestones

Because my monthly payments are so high, I'm afraid I'll never be able to buy a home or start my own family. Every time I make my monthly payments, I fantasize about how I can use that money for family planning instead, especially since fertility treatments for LGBTQIA+ people are sometimes not covered by health insurance.

Because I don't have good credit , I feel trapped in a cycle of paying debt and watching my savings dwindle because I can't afford to deal with emergencies. Unlike federal loans, private student loans will not be forgiven under any forgiveness plan that comes to fruition.

Once I realized how predatory the student loan system really is, I decided to focus on solutions

Earlier this year, I learned that a survey from the Student Debt Crisis Center, in partnership with Savi, found that 89% of fully employed borrowers aren't financially secure enough to make their student loan payments. Seeing that number — 89% — helped me realize that I'm not alone in struggling with my student loan debt and that giant student loan companies don't really care about our quality of life.

Once I stopped blaming myself for signing those papers without reading them, I was able to focus on solutions. In 2022, I plan to start by refinancing my student loans for a shorter repayment time and lower interest rates. I'm also going to work with a financial planner to build an emergency fund and start taking control of my finances.

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This article was originally published in January 2022.