Parenting for Dummies

From empty threats to kids who are on their phones more than they participate in the real world, there are so many wrong turns being made by parents these days, and the results are showing in their kids' behavior. Good parenting isn't easy, but here are eight of the biggest ways some parents are ruining their kids nowadays.

1. Getting Them Cell Phones Too Soon ...

I'm sorry, but why does a child who still takes spelling tests at school need the ability to text his Mommy who is in the kitchen and ask her to bring him a snack to his bedroom? We hear all kinds of excuses and justifications for getting younger kids their own cell phones these days, and we can't help but think about how we got by just fine with our parents with no way to communicate immediately. If the street lights were on, you better get your butt home. There was no waiting for Dad to call your phone to let you know.

2. ... And Not Paying Attention to How They Use Their Phones

When parents do decide it's time for their kids to get a phone of their own, they often make the mistake of just handing the thing over with no parameters or monitoring anywhere in sight. Maybe they remember when they got their first cell phone and recall how they didn't zone out on it or consume any content that was particularly bad for them, but we are living in different times now. From social media to the tendancy to scroll into the wee hours of the morning, there is a definite need for guidelines.

A friend of mine can shut her son's internet off with one click on her own phone. She can see where he's at, monitor his screen time, and limit the time of day he can access texting, calling, and social media. The technology exists. Use it.

3. Letting Them Do Whatever They Want

Tommy doesn't feel like doing his chores right now and wants to watch just one more episode of his favorite show, so you let him. He doesn't feel like waking up in the morning, so you let him sleep. You say yes every time he asks to hang out with someone, regardless of what else you have going on. STOP DOING THIS. A healthy balance between what your kids want to do and what they need to do in order to learn how to be responsible as they grow older exists. You won't find it if you let them call all the shots and always cater to what they want to do.

4. Spoiling Them

It's easy to dote upon your kids, especially if you're hellbent on giving them all the things you wish you had growing up. But there is actual research showing if you give your kids everything they want, they struggle to develop skills like self-discipline. And let's call a spade a spade, sometimes doing this might land you with a spoiled brat. Teach your kids to work for what they want. Maybe you really want to get them that new set of headphones they've been wanting, so try and set some rules for them to meet or give them an allowance that they have to earn before they can get that desired item.

5. Not Handling Tantrums

Losing your wits in the grocery store because your kid is acting like a jackwagon is not the move. Listen, I've been through so many of those tantrums that I alone do grocery pick-up, so I get how frustrating those moments can be. As hard as it can be to remain level-headed, it's the way to go. There is a difference between being a push-over and giving in and being calm but firm. Handle the tantrum. Don't let it handle you and don't give in to it to make it go away.

6. Not Establishing Boundaries

Boundaries are important in every relationship, including the ones you have with your children. Your kids should know what things are appropriate to say and do around you and which things they need to leave inside of their friend group. You can love your kids with all your heart and consider them your best friends, but at the end of the day, they need to know you're their parent, and there is a level of respect that needs to be the precedent.

7. Breeding Pickiness

If your kid genuinely doesn't like a particular food, don't force-feed them, please. You don't have to be a dinnertime dictator, but your kid also shouldn't be living off of cheese pizza, hot dogs, and frosting out of the can (I grew up with a kid whose diet consisted of only those few things, true story). Nutrition matters and you're not going to do your child a single favor by accommodating them to such extremes.

8. Not Following Through on Punishments

"If you don't clean your room, you're not allowed to watch TV for the rest of the night." The room is still a mess. You're now busy. The kid is eating Cheetos in front of the TV. You're their fool once again, and they can see it coming from a mile away.

This article was produced and syndicated by MediaFeed.

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