Coping With Your Body After Treatment, Finding Love
- A woman diagnosed with breast cancer at 31 is sharing her journey on her popular TikTok channel. Among notable topics is dating. She says her treatment, which included a double mastectomy (removal of both breasts) and chemotherapy, impacted her social life.
- Fortunately, she practiced self-confidence, which helped her confidently discuss her diagnosis with potential partners, which helped her cope.
- A major health challenge that causes noticeable changes to your appearance can impact how you feel, physically and emotionally. Psychiatrist Dr. Marianna Strongin encourages cancer warriors to look at and appreciate the parts of their bodies that were affected by treatment to take back ownership.
Popular TikToker Kimberly Rosales says having self-confidence was her secret sauce to getting through breast cancer treatment and the lingering side effects it had on her body and dating life. “You hair, your breasts. They are part of your identity and can give you confidence,” Rosales said in an essay
shared with Self Magazine.
“So, if those change due to cancer, it can take a lot from you. But, I’ve always been very confident in myself, and self-confidence can help you get through it,” Rosales continued.
Rosales ’ cancer journey began when she was 31 years old in 2022 after noticing a lump in her breast. She went to the doctor for a check-up, which led to a breast cancer diagnosis. While marginally concerned, Rosales tried to keep her head held high. “What’s the worst that’s going to happen? You’re going to go through chemo; you’re going to lose your hair. So, I was already prepared for hearing the word ‘cancer,’” Rosales thought.
Helping You Manage Your Mental Health
Coping With Treatment and How It Impacts Your Body Inside and Out
She tried to remain grounded and positive to keep herself calm. Her treatment included undergoing a double mastectomy and chemotherapy.
WATCH: What Happens During a Double Mastectomy When a woman decides to have a mastectomy, several factors go into that decision. Among things to consider is whether to have breast-conserving surgery such as a lumpectomy. These decisions should be made alongside your doctor by openly and candidly discussing risks vs. benefits. “A double mastectomy typically takes about two hours for the cancer part of the operation, the removing of the tissue,”
Dr. Elisa Port , Chief of Breast Surgery at Mount Sinai Health System, tells SurvivorNet. “The real length, the total length of the surgery, can often depend on what type of reconstruction [a patient] has.” After undergoing breast cancer surgery, she felt different, but the side effects of chemotherapy made Rosales look different. Chemotherapy stops cancerous cells from growing, dividing, and spreading to other organs. It works by traveling through the bloodstream, killing cancerous cells. However, the process also impacts healthy cells, leading to side effects.
WATCH: Managing chemo side effects. Your doctor will help you manage the side effects by either adjusting your medication or offering recommendations to help you cope, such as pressure bracelets and breathing exercises for nausea or cryotherapy, which minimizes hair loss. “I’ve gone through chemo two times. This second time, now, is solely attacking the cancer, but the first time, it went through my whole body, and when that finished, I was letting my nails and hair grow back,” Rosales explained.
Dipping Into the Dating Pool
By the time Rosales’ was nearing the end of her second round of chemotherapy and the side effects began wearing off, she explored dating. However, dating as a cancer patient isn’t quite the same because your diagnosis is just as much part of the relationship as the two people themselves. At the time, Rosales often wore wigs when she found herself at a crossroads of dating and cancer.
WATCH: The Big C on SNTV: Laughter as Medicine and Tough Subjects for Cancer Survivors Including Relationships “I was terrified of showing him my hair because I’d only worn wigs when we were together. But, one night, I really saw a different side of him. He asked to see my hair…he just looked at me and said, ‘I don’t ever want you to wear wigs in front of me again,” Rosales said. Rosales says now, when she’s out socially if her diagnosis comes up, it does not conjure up any anxieties. She says it helps her extrapolate the character of potential partners. “I’ll be wearing a blond wig, for example. Someone will ask, ‘Oh, is that a wig?’ And I’ll say ‘yes.’ They often ask why, and I just tell them, ‘I’m going through chemo.’ Sometimes, people will definitely respond with something like, ‘Wow, I was not expecting that!” Rosales explained. “It really starts on the inside,” she added. SurvivorNet contributor
Marisa Sullivan is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer, an aggressive form of breast cancer.
WATCH: Understanding triple-negative breast cancer Triple-negative breast cancer means your cancer is not fueled by any of the three main types of receptors — estrogen, progesterone, or the HER2 protein. Because of this, the cancer won’t respond to certain targeted therapies, including hormone therapy or HER2-targeted agents like Herceptin.
Chemotherapy is typically the treatment, and there are several options. If the triple-negative breast cancer patient does not have many symptoms, oral chemotherapy like Xeloda (generic name capecitabine) may be prescribed. If the patient becomes resistant to the oral chemo drug, IV (intravenous) chemotherapy may be offered weekly or bi-weekly. Sullivan offers helpful advice for cancer patients to help them re-enter the dating pool.
- Decide if you’re ready to explore a romantic relationship with someone else, as some people may think they are ready when, in reality, they’re not.
- Be honest with your potential new partner about your cancer diagnosis, as ongoing treatment will have an impact on them, too.
- It’s okay to have fun. If you aren’t looking for anything series, be honest with potential partners about your background and note you want to keep things casual.
- It’s okay to be vulnerable. Getting through cancer treatment is no easy feat, and it doesn’t just go away in an instant. You may have down days or feel overly emotional, but it is okay to let your emotions out.
- Treat yourself. Cancer patients may face some insecurities, especially related to their bodies after treatment, so it’s important to your physical and mental health to indulge in some self-care from time to time to make yourself feel good.
Coping With Body Changes After Cancer
When you are in the middle of a health challenge, you may notice some physical changes in your body. The changes may include weight gain or loss, hair loss, or something invisible to the naked eye. One way to prepare yourself for possible body changes during cancer treatment is to understand that changes are possible but also frequently temporary. This can also help build up your self-confidence. Your support group, filled with loved ones, can also help you during this stage of your journey.
WATCH: Body Image, Sex, and Adjusting to a New Normal After Cancer Treatment While surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation are treatments that can cause visible changes to one’s physical appearance, other treatments that are less noticeable include endocrine or hormone therapy. Hormone therapy “slows or stops the growth of hormone-sensitive tumors by blocking the body’s ability to produce hormones,”
according to the National Cancer Institute. Psychologist
Dr. Marianna Strongin shares with SurvivorNet some additional tips cancer warriors can explore to help manage the emotional toll body changes can have during treatment. Dr. Strongin encourages cancer warriors to take ownership of the part (or parts) of their body impacted mainly by cancer treatment. She
says although they may represent “fear and pain,” they also represent “strength and courage.” “Research has found that when looking in the mirror, we are more likely to focus on the parts of our body we are dissatisfied with, which causes us to have a negative self-view and lower self-esteem. Therefore, I would like you to first spend time gazing at the parts of your body you love, give them time, honor them, and then thank them,” Dr. Strongin said. Dr. Strongin then suggests looking at the part or parts of your body impacted by the cancer or cancer treatment. She recommends creating a regular practice of accepting your body image because it helps you accept your cancer journey emotionally and physically. “As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body. It may not happen immediately, but with time, you can begin honoring and thanking your new body,” Strongin adds.
Most Popular
Comments / 0