I Was Stuck With a Loved One’s Debt: 5 Moves I Made To Pay It Down and Protect Myself

Few things can be as awful losing a loved one. When Adrian S. lost his wife Sarah, he thought the worst was over. Then the credit card bills started rolling in.

“I had no clue Sarah was in so much debt,” Adrian said. “It felt like I was grieving all over again.”

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Adrian’s story isn’t unique. Many people find themselves on the hook for a loved one’s debts after they pass. Here’s how he dug himself out of the financial hole while keeping his own credit intact.

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Face the Music

Adrian first had to take a long, hard look at the damage — although he didn’t really want to.

“I wanted to stick my head in the sand,” he shared. “But I knew that wouldn’t solve anything.”

He gathered all of Sarah’s financial documents and made a list of debts. After he knew what he was facing, he was able to make a plan.

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Ask for Help

Not wanting to burden his friends and family, Adrian initially kept everything a secret. However, after realizing he couldn’t do this alone, he talked to his brother and children about it. Luckily, they stepped into to help.

His brother offered him an interest-free loan to tackle the highest-interest debts.

His son, who runs a web design business, helped Adrian set up a side gig creating online project management courses to boost his income, and his daughter, a lawyer, stepped in to help with creditors and contracts. “I didn’t want to bother them, but asking for help was the best thing I could’ve done,” he said.

The family’s support wasn’t just financial — but also emotional. “I felt less alone,” said Adrian.

Negotiate, Negotiate, Negotiate

With his team’s guidance, Adrian contacted each creditor to explain his situation and try to get better terms.

“I was a little surprised that they would work with me,” he shared. “Most of them lowered the interest rates, and a couple even agreed to reduce the balance. You hear it a lot, but it’s true: It never hurts to ask.”

Triage Your Debts

With help and a new plan in place, Adrian tackled the highest-interest debt first.

“I listed them from highest interest rate to lowest,” he said. “Then I threw every spare penny at the highest-rate debt while making minimum payments on the rest. It was slow going, but it worked.”

Protect Your Own Credit

Adrian knew he had to be careful with all of his moves, because he didn’t want to damage his own financial health.

“My advisor drilled it into my head: ‘Don’t mess up your credit over this,'” Adrian shared. “I made sure to keep up with all the agreed payments, even if it meant eating ramen for dinner.”

The Long Haul

It took Adrian two years of belt-tightening and side hustles to pay off Sarah’s debts. But he did it.

“I’d love to say I felt elated. Truthfully? I just felt… empty. Drained. Like I’d been running a marathon and finally crossed the finish line, only to realize there was no cheering crowd waiting for me.”

If He Had To Do It All Again

“So, what’s the moral of my sob story?” asked Adrian. “A few things: 1. Never underestimate the power of financial honesty in a relationship. 2. When life throws you a curveball — or ten — don’t be too proud to ask for help. 3. There’s always a way out, even when it feels hopeless. You just have to be willing to take it one step at a time.

“Oh, and maybe check your spouse’s credit report once in a while. Just saying!”

This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com : I Was Stuck With a Loved One’s Debt: 5 Moves I Made To Pay It Down and Protect Myself