Mariska Hargitay Cried Every Time She Had to Do This on ‘Law & Order SVU’

Mariska Hargitay once shared she second-guessed herself every time she stepped into this unique role in 'Law & Order SVU'.

Law & Order SVU star had plenty of emotional moments on the show. But she once took up a new job on the set behind the scenes. And it left Hargitay beyond stressed every time.

How Mariska Hargitay felt picking up this challenging new job on ‘Law & Order’

Hargitay doesn’t just act in Law & Order anymore. Over the years, she’s had a hand in developing the show behind the scenes as well. Both as a producer and a director. She shot her first SVU episode, “Criminal Stories”, in 2014. Since then, she’s returned to the director’s chair eight more times over the course of the show.

Speaking on the Squadroom podcast, Hargitay reflected on her new SVU role as a director.

“What I’ve learned now, one of the most important parts of directing is prep. It’s when so much of the work is done. And my prep, just to be candid here, is always compromised because I’m shooting the previous episode and they don’t want to lose me for too much. It’s been challenging that way because I’ve missed time,” she said.

What’s made her job as a director easier is her connection with the cast and crew, as well as her understanding of the SVU universe. But the pressure of directing a Law & Order episode always gets to her. So much so that it’s brought her to tears.

“It is challenging and the night before I start, I cry and say, ‘What have I done? When will you learn?’ and ‘When will it be enough?’ and ‘When will you say, no, you can’t do it?’ But then, by the second scene, I’m so in love with it, I’m so in love with directing and telling a story and finding that visual language and I think finding the magic that happens on set,” she said.

What Mariska Hargitay learned about herself while directing

Directing SVU episodes also helped the award winner learn more about herself. When she filmed the episode “Padre Sandunguera”, she was surprised how calm she was. Especially compared to when she directed her first SVU episode.

“I trusted myself more in the moment. The first time you want to be so prepared, so in a way I feel like I almost over prepared,” Hargitay once told HuffPost. “The second time I felt so much more relaxed that I came up with more ideas on the set. That was very exciting to me, to actually be present in a new way. As an actor you’re present in the moment, right? I got to infuse a bit that presence behind the camera.”

Additionally, doing so might’ve also improved her already sound relationship with her SVU co-workers.

“You know you sort of — I always have deep respect for all the crew, but as a director you rely on this team in a different way. I found myself walking away with even more respect for the crew and their creativity. It forged a new creative relationship and I just think they’re brilliant. In acting, you’re relying on your scene partners, but this was a new kind of vision,” she said.

What was the last ‘Law & Order SVU’ episode that Mariska Hargitay directed?

Recently, Hargitay directed the season 25 SVU episode Children of Wolves. The premise of this episode would center around an unconscious girl found at a park. It would also cover Olivia Benson’s relationship with her adopted son Noah. The episode turned out to be as successful as Hargitay’s previous directorial efforts. So much so that her SVU co-star Ryan Buggle couldn’t help but praise the actor.

“An all new @nbclawandorder tonight! Having @therealmariskahargitay direct you is a gift. Always trying to soak her wisdom up like a sponge,” Buggle posted on social media according to NBC.

Given Hargitay’s passion, it’s likely that fans haven’t seen the last of the actor in the director’s chair.