House of the Dragon: season two, episode three recap – talk about eye-popping TV

Spoiler alert: this recap is for people watching House of the Dragon . Do not read on unless you have watched season two, episode three.

‘Soon they will not even remember what began the war in the first place’

When does a war begin? With the official declaration of hostilities? With some inciting incident, such as the murder of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in 1914? Or, to paraphrase Varys in Game of Thrones, does a war begin when people believe it has begun, when enough anger has built up that a tipping point is inevitable? That’s the theme of this third episode, and perhaps this entire second season, as a shrinking number of restraining voices – Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy), Rhaenys (Eve Best) and Alicent (Olivia Cooke) chief among them – struggle to stem the tide of violence that threatens to overwhelm not just King’s Landing, but the whole of Westeros.

And if they can’t stop the war itself, as the opening scenes between duelling houses the Brackens and the Blackwoods suggest, then at least they might be able to control it, to guide it, to keep the dragons from getting involved. It’s Rhaenys who suggests that the best way to find a path to peace is for Rhaenyra and Alicent to speak face to face – an absurd plan, given that Rhaenyra is the most wanted woman in the Seven Kingdoms, but one she nonetheless accedes to.

‘What is the life of a queen worth, these days?’

First, though, there’s business to attend to on Dragonstone, namely what to do with the Queen’s three youngest children. If it’s slightly hard to care about the disappointment of young Rhaena (Phoebe Campbell) at being sent away with the little ’uns, that is partly because we have been given very little time with her, but also because the situation is so much worse for Rhaenyra, forced to bid farewell to her smallest offspring. Still, at least she has a new sidekick-slash-Master of Whisperers, Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno), to confide in.

And the erstwhile White Worm wasn’t the only one granted that title this week. It was only a matter of time before King Aegon (Tom Glynn-Carney) noticed that Ser Larys Strong (Matthew Needham) was basically doing the job already; all he had to do was make it official. Indeed, there seem to be titles aplenty being handed out, including a brace of newly minted Kingsguard knights drawn from Aegon’s pool of fawning followers, much to the chagrin of their Lord Commander, Ser Criston Cole (Fabian Frankel).

‘Good. To war, then’

Fresh from being named Hand of the King, Ser Criston chose this moment to leave King’s Landing altogether on a mission to secure the strategically vital castle of Harrenhal before their enemies could do the same. But he wouldn’t be travelling alone: enter Alicent’s younger brother, Gwayne Hightower (Freddie Fox), the sort of thoroughly objectionable little snot the noble houses of Westeros seem to breed by the wagonload. Still, it was almost worth his presence just to see the look on Ser Criston’s face when Alicent ordered him to take the blighter along.

Little did either of them know, but the Blacks had already reached Harrenhal, answering the question of where Daemon flounced off to last week. The infamously vast, derelict castle most recently witnessed the deaths of Lord Lyonel Strong and his son Harwin, on the orders of the aforementioned Ser Larys. Now, it is being held by Lyonel’s brother Ser Simon (Simon Russell Beale), a comfort-loving sort whose avuncular exterior might just mask a razor-sharp mind.

He clearly hasn’t been taken in by his kinslaying nephew, anyway, and his apparently accidental mis-titling of Daemon happens just enough times to feel intentional. As for the Prince in question, he is clearly questioning some of his recent life choices, wandering in the night and dreaming of young Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock, making a fiendish, feverish return) – but was it a dream, or some kind of illusion, perhaps brought on by Ser Simon’s mysterious courtier, the decidedly witchy Alys Rivers (Gayle Rankin)?

‘There may be another way’

Still, one enigmatic figure did become less so this week, as we received an answer to the question of who exactly is Ulf (Tom Bennett). A gorgeous tracking shot drew us into a bustling King’s Landing boozer-cum-brothel, where this seemingly ordinary bloke began bragging about his connections to the royal family. He may not look the part, but according to Ulf he is actually a Targaryen, the son of the late King Viserys’s long-lost bastard brother. How much stock we can place in the ramblings of a man who looks like a Harry Enfield character gone rogue is unclear, but he certainly clamped shut when Aegon showed up unexpectedly, along with his retinue.

The final part of the episode was all about Rhaenyra and Alicent, as the former enlisted Mysaria to help put her reckless plan into action. After much dress-up and subterfuge – didn’t we do this two episodes ago? – the royal rivals were reunited in the sept, for a heart-to-heart that ended up taking a turn neither of them could have predicted. Indeed, in hindsight it is clear that this entire escapade was set up purely so that Rhaenyra could solve the riddle of why Viserys muttered his son’s name to Alicent on his deathbed – after all, she is the only one who knows about the Song of Ice and Fire. Alicent’s response was predictable: shock, disbelief, denial. But expect to see the truth eating away at her in the weeks to come, as she gradually comes to terms with the reality of what Rhaenyra has told her.

Additional notes

• This week, a lot of folk have been complaining – in the comments below, and in articles such as this one – that House of the Dragon is boring, just a lot of gloomy chit-chat and no fun stuff. While I can’t deny that the series is taking its sweet time to get going, I don’t find it remotely dull: I love all the backstabbing and loyalty-switching, partly because I know it’s all building to something great.

• The one complaint I agree with is that, thus far, there is no character we can really root for – a Tyrion, a Jon Snow, a Daenerys before she went tonto. They are all as ruthless as each other, and it does make finding an emotional connection rather more difficult.

• Those four colourful dragon’s eggs are clearly going to play a major part in the wars to come. Shame they looked as if they had been bought at a branch of Oliver Bonas.

• Good Gods, but Rhaenyra’s courtiers are a bunch of interfering mitherers, aren’t they? Time to get in some fresh blood!

Nudity count

Willies, heaps of ’em! Well, at least two, which for Westeros is worth noting – not to mention the fact that one was erect, massive and in the process of being, um, serviced, which for any non-porn show is still bold. And yet, the scene that followed was perhaps the most moving of the episode, as Aegon’s teasing cut Prince Aemond (Ewan Mitchell) to the quick, reminding him of the days when he was the brunt of every childhood prank, and driving a further wedge between the brothers just when Aegon could use some reliable backup.

Violence count

Could being chased by a dragon be considered an act of violence? The sudden appearance of Baela (Bethany Antonia) on her irritatingly named mount Moondancer may have seemed frightening, but it might also have offered Ser Criston and young Gwayne the excuse they needed for a spot of on-the-road bonding, as well as giving Criston the chance to prove he is not just a scheming royal-fucker, but a talented and experienced knight.

Random Brit of the week

Despite stiff competition from Freddie Fox and Gayle Rankin – both of whom may well get their turn later in the season – it has to be Simon Russell Beale, or Sir Simon Russell Beale, as the opening credits informed us. A stage veteran whose services to theatre led to a knighthood in 2019, his work in film and TV has, perhaps inevitably, tended towards the highbrow and theatrical, from playing Falstaff in The Hollow Crown to a brace of collaborations with the late, lamented Terence Davies.