Opinion: You Know Who’s Available to Replace Joe Biden? Al Franken!

I’m not a former president or a Biden granddaughter, so my thoughts about the fate of democracy carry little weight. Still, I’ve thought a lot about what a successful Democrat ticket might look like, and if it were up to me—and it really should be—my choice would be Al Franken / Kamala Harris .

“Well, that’s stupid and makes no sense,” you’re thinking.

I know! Nothing makes sense these days. The Supreme Court just ruled a President can order protesters to be shot and get away with it. To my mind, Franken checks all the boxes necessary to beat Trump —and nothing is more important than beating Trump.

Here are my 12 keys to winning the presidency and why Franken would be a remarkably good choice to destroy Trump in the election.

1. Name recognition. Franken has risen to the top in several mediums. The boomers know him from the 70s when he joined the writing staff of Saturday Night Live and later became a cast member and producer. Gen X knows him as the host of a highly-rated progressive Air America radio show and best-selling author. And Millennials know him as a popular U.S. senator from Minnesota. He served from 2009-2018 until forced to resign by his own party.

2. Hilarious. Comedy shouldn’t count in politics, but it does. In 2016, a Boston cabbie told me that he was voting for Trump over Hillary Clinton because “Trump makes me laugh.” Franken is a skilled entertainer and performer which means he shares Trump’s modern political superpower.

3. Straight white man. Sadly, this is still a requirement for winning the U.S. presidency. Franken has been married to the same woman since 1975 and, if elected, they would celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in the White House. For Trump to do that with Melania , he’d have to remain in the presidency until 2055. Of course, that’s probably his plan and the Supreme Court will back him.

4. Only 73 years old. A kid! Unlike Biden and Trump, Franken was born in the 50s not the 40s. It’s a different sensibility. Also, Franken could make it clear that he would only serve one term.

5. Unencumbered by current office. Franken leaves no hole by stepping into the race. Democrats can’t afford to lose any senators or governors.

6. Debate skills. Remember when AG Jeff Sessions appeared before the Judiciary Committee and Franken grilled him like a July 4 sausage? Franken has been taking down conservative blowhards for decades and was an early observer of the GOP’s slide into corruption and delusion. His book, Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot: And Other Observations , was published twenty-five years ago. The follow up— Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right —was prescient in calling out Fox News in 2003.

7. Harvard degree . For the elites who need an Ivy imprimatur, Franken has it. Class of ’73.

8. A little sexist. Eight years ago, Franken resigned from the Senate amid accusations of sexual misconduct. Back then, this behavior was considered a liability. Today, it might grab some swing votes. We never learned the veracity of the allegations and, in 2022, feminist op-ed writer Michelle Goldberg wrote in the New York Times that she’d been wrong to call for his resignation without an official investigation. Whatever Franken did, it probably wasn’t worse than Trump, who was since found liable for sexually abusing and defaming E. Jean Carroll. Plus, Franken has been thoughtful about women’s issues since. More importantly, he would not support a national abortion ban like Trump.

9. Midwesterner. A person from a non-coastal state will help balance the Democrat’s ticket, especially if Ohio Senator JD Vance gets the GOP VP nod.

10. Good fundraiser. Franken has solid ties with wealthy people on both coasts. I once spotted then-Sen. Franken at the 2016 memorial of Garry Shandling and asked a mutual friend to introduce us. “He’ll just ask you for money,” said the friend.

11. Connection to VP. Admittedly, the relationship between Franken and Harris has had some bumps. They worked well together on the Judiciary Committee and, although she did call for his resignation in 2017, she described her decision as “difficult.” In contrast, Vance once called his potential running mate “noxious,” “reprehensible,” and “an idiot.” Plus, a Harris/Franken reconciliation where they each offered the other forgiveness would be a highlight of the Democrat convention. America loves schmaltz.

12. Chaos. You know what else America loves? Chaos and disruption. Swapping in Franken for Biden will allow Americans to execute their favorite act of “voting the bastard out” while maintaining democracy. The GOP has harnessed chaos to their advantage for 8 years. It’s time to embrace the lunacy of today’s politics.

In 1979, Franken appeared on SNL ’s Weekend Update to declare that the “Me decade” was ending and the 80s would usher in a new focus. “People are going to stop thinking about themselves,” Franken told the TV audience, “ And start thinking about me, Al Franken. That’s right. I believe we’re entering what I like to call the Al Franken decade.”

The eighties turned out to be more about greed, but maybe Franken’s time is now. He already wrote Why Not Me? The Making and the Unmasking of the Franken Presidency . The book came out in 1999 and, at the time, it was ridiculous to consider that a comedian could become president. Then Trump did it.

Read more at The Daily Beast.