Britney Spears’ 5 Worst Songs

Britney Spears is one of the best pop stars of the past three decades, but some of her songs are duds. She contributed a track to a Smurfs movie.

Britney Spears‘ worst songs are sometimes inexplicable. For example, she once contributed a track to a Smurfs movie that makes no sense. Her attempt to work with fellow pop star Rihanna was also regrettable.

5. ‘S&M’

In 2011, Spears’ music was hotter than it’d been in a long time, thanks to her album Femme Fatale, which includes her hits “Hold It Against Me,” “Till the World Ends,” “I Wanna Go,” and “Criminal.” Meanwhile, Rihanna was having a career-high point as well, thanks to the popularity of her dance record Loud.

A collaboration between these two titans of pop seemed like a surefire hit and it was. Spears appeared on a remix of “S&M” that topped the Billboard Hot 100 for a single week. Sadly, Spears’ vocal performance is indescribably awful.

4. ‘Ooh La La’

The chorus of “Ooh La La” is “Ooh my, my baby don’t be shy / I see that spark flashing in your eye / My heart beats fast ’cause I want it all / So baby come with me and be my ooh la, la.” Those lyrics needed to be rewritten a few more times.

Spears doesn’t help. She sounds disinterested on the track, perhaps because she knows this tune was written for The Smurfs 2. She gave the franchise a song of the caliber that it deserves.

3. ‘Radar’

Writing a song about someone being on your radar because they’re so hot is a half-baked idea. The problem with “Radar” is the sheer repetitiveness of it. Spears sings “on my radar” so many times that the phrase loses all meaning.

“Womanizer” is similarly repetitive but at least Spears delivers that track with a wink and a smile, so it almost works on a camp level. Meanwhile, she sings “Radar” with the passion of someone reading the phone book. It makes sense that Spears worked with Rihanna because “Radar” is a lesser mutation of “SOS.”

2. ‘Perfume’

Sia is a great artist. However, the tunes she writes for other artists tend to be terrible. Songs like Rihanna’s “Diamonds” and Flo Rida’s “Wild Ones” are disposable pop hits that don’t live up to the standards Sia set up for herself. “Perfume” is even worse than those tunes, as it can’t find a melody to save its life.

It’s a song about Spears wanting to get her perfume on her lover so that her mistress will smell it. She sings that this move is marking her territory. This track is based on a forced metaphor that was probably designed to sell Spears’ fragrances.

1. ‘Mind Your Business’

Given her life, Spears has every right to tell everyone to mind their business. She’s repeatedly criticized the tabloid press, such as in the music videos for “Everytime” and “Piece of Me.” Mind Your Business” reuses this theme, but Spears sounds like she recorded her vocals during one take while she was half-asleep.

Will.i.am doesn’t help anything with a grating Black Eyed Peas-type beat. Spears has worked with great collaborators, such as Max Martin, Madonna, and Keri Hilson. She shouldn’t make the mistake of working with Will.i.am again.