Baseball seat and my need for tape

E ach time I sit in the seat of a current season of baseball, the chance to impact a life is at hand. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it is that what matters is how I can influence someone for good and God. But I know I can always do better.

Recently, the mother of a boy on my grandson’s baseball team turned to call me over from my lawn chair to where she sat by the fence with other moms. She said, with a rather pronounced tone, “I noticed Kade being negative before the game tonight. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

I swallowed her remark while taking in the staring moms who waited for my answer. Now, keep in mind I’m a grandmother, not a parent. And, of course, she caught me off guard, so I asked, “What did he say?”

“Before the game, he said we’ll lose tonight.” Of course, my mind raced with ‘Did I hear her correctly?’ because I thought she would say he’d picked on someone or said a bad word, maybe, but it turned out Kade announced his assessment of how he felt the game might unfold.

She interrupted my thoughts and added, “He’s never been that way or negative.”

The moms around me waited to see what I might say as I stood on the spotlight pedestal. Remember, I hadn’t asked for correction of my grandson, nor did I think it was the time or place, especially in a group setting.

I’ll be the first to say if this mom had told me oneon- one, I would have thought she genuinely cared about Kade, but the high-pitched fervor of her tone told me otherwise.

So, to lighten the moment, I smiled and said, “Kade’s ten; he’s been negative before. You probably just haven’t heard him.” I promptly returned to my folding chair to put tape on my mouth before I became ‘too negative.’

Later, after the game, I asked Kade if he’d said what she relayed, and I mentioned how encouraging his teammates might be a better option. And I also told him that every thought he has doesn’t need to find its way out for others to hear. (That second part was mostly for me.) So, this baseball memory stands out to me because I’ve noticed how this mom yelled at her son throughout the season, often negatively and often louder than anyone at the fence.

Oh, wait! Many parents get caught up in the competition and the noise. Some focus on the player’s lack of ability, the way a ball fumbles from a glove, or they mention how a player dropped the ball or when the passed ball hits the fence. This mom is not alone. She has plenty of company. We all come with a voice. And we all have a choice of what to say out loud.

But we must remember that we are watching children as they learn to interact and compete, play hard, and are challenged to improve their abilities. And they have to do so while listening to the shouts from the bleachers.

I share this story so we remember how children are impressionable and that we impact their hearts. And I must ask, is the mark I leave one of hope and goodness or discouragement?

In other words, will my grandson remember my applauding his efforts to try and pitch (for the first time) this year? Will he remember how his grandpa and I attended every game and hugged him whether his team won or lost? Will he hold onto how we supported him through the most challenging time in his young life (so far), a season of sadness I cannot write about in this column? Remember, even at ten, you never know what a little person is going through.

So, friend, be kind and gentle with your assessment and help them have fun, experience joy, and find their smile. And when in doubt, pray, lift them, and encourage someone.

Besides, the more we say to God, the less we need to tell others, and the more we make an impact for good along the way. As for me, it’s also a great way to eliminate my need to buy tape before going to a baseball game.