NFC North quarterbacks as fireworks: what are Jared Goff, Caleb Williams, J.J. McCarthy and Jordan Love

Happy 4th of July everyone. It's that time of year where everyone goes out and spends hundreds of dollars of their hard earned money in an effort to blow off one of their limbs, start something in the neighborhood on fire and ruin every dogs life for a few hours. I'm not a big fan of fireworks, but I get why people like them.

In my 38 years of life, I've seen a lot of two things. Fireworks and quarterbacks. They have a lot in common if you ask me. They both have the tendency to either light things up or be total duds.

Since it's the holiday and everyone's lighting off fireworks, I want to have a little fun. Let's compare the quarterbacks around the NFC North to some of the fireworks you're bound to see today.

Caleb Williams is a Willow

You know those fireworks that pop in the air and then do this weeping willow affect and you wonder how big the willow will get before it disappears into the sky? That's Caleb Williams.

He's this big explosive player, but we don't know if he's just really flashy for a college player or if that flashiness will translate to the NFL. Right now we're just waiting to see if he disappears into the sky.

J.J. McCarthy is a bottle rocket

Here's the thing about bottle rockets. It seems like you're prone to get more duds with these than any other firework out there. You take a chance every time you light one of these. It might be a good one and it might be a dud.

That's J.J. McCarthy in a nutshell. We don't know what this kid is. Right now the Vikings are taking him out of the package that Michigan put him in, putting him in the beer bottle and lighting him. We'll see soon enough if he flies into the sky, or if he does nothing and everyone has to wait a few minutes before they approach the bottle and take him out.

Jordan Love is sparkler

Sparklers are a staple of the fourth of July. They light up so bright and everyone loves them. The thing is that there's multiple different types. There's the little ones that burn out fast and then there's the big ones that burn for a while.

Which one is Love? He had a big season last year. Will he burn out fast, or will he continue to burn for a long time?

Jared Goff is a roman candle

Roman candles can be fun, but they're also pretty dangerous. In high school a bunch of us would go into an empty field and shoot them at each other. We did this more than once until our friend Stephen took a shot to the face. He lived. He's a little weird now, but he lived. Just kidding. He's totally fine.

Jared Goff is a lot like a roman candle because when everything goes right, he's fun and it all works out. But when things go wrong, they have a tendency to go really wrong. That's where you see him trying to do the spin out of the sack thing or trying to chest pass to Brock Wright in the playoffs. I think everything should work out for Goff in 2024, but there's always that chance that Stephen could get shot in the face.

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