Former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay Recalls the Moment She Was ‘Done’ With Bryan Abasolo Marriage

Rachel Lindsay is at peace with her decision to divorce Bryan Abasolo .

“I think I read this somewhere, I’m not sure, but by the time women decide they want a divorce, they’re done [and] I was done,” Lindsay, 39, told Scott Evans in a YouTube interview posted on Wednesday, July 3. “Doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard or a re-adjustment.”

She added, “It’s still a struggle daily, but emotionally, I felt I was very sure this was what I wanted to do.”

Lindsay met Abasolo, 44, during season 13 of The Bachelorette , where they got engaged during the finale. After four years of marriage, Abasolo filed for divorce as Lindsay sought to rebuild her life as a singleton.

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“I was telling people that I was asexual and antisocial … those first few months,” she added on Wednesday. “I was like, ‘I just want to see my girls. I want to be with them.’ I would get anxiety being in a big crowd because I’d realize, ‘I’m single and people can try and talk to me.’”

The attorney remembered she felt “uncomfortable” when a strange man tried to approach her at a party.

“I thought, ‘What was wrong with me?’ My safety net is done [and] I don’t have my ring on, I don’t have a husband. I’m out here,” she said. “I felt so exposed and vulnerable that I really didn’t go out for days.”

Lindsay learned to conquer her fears several months later during a solo ski trip.

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“I was cold [and] I felt dead on the inside,” Lindsay added. “Slowly but surely, I started to gain my confidence back. I started skiing — I’ve never been skiing in my life — but I, weirdly, was good at it. … People say it’s harder to learn as an adult [but] I wasn’t afraid ‘cause I was in a place where I felt cold. I was like, ‘Oh, you want me to lean into this mountain like I’m falling over? [OK.]’”

Lindsay is in the middle of a contentious divorce with chiropractor Abasolo, who is seeking spousal support . Lindsay responded to his petition, seeking to only provide a smaller sum because they do not live a “glamorous” life .

Even with that reminder of how things can go wrong, the former Bachelorette is now “very open” to dating , so long as a future partner is ambitious in their own right.

“My dating life right now is for fun. I would have to be swept off my feet to really be like, ‘Oh, he’s The One.’ I’m trying to have fun and have a roster,” Lindsay joked on Wednesday. “I do want you to be loyal, have a personality, adventurous, charming and maybe even a little corny. … I want them to be ambitious but also very understanding.”

She added, “My therapist said I have broken wing syndrome. I date guys that I see potential in. I see [that] they are a good person, but maybe they need a little guidance or a little help. Rather than dating the person who is already there.”