Oracle Of Ybor: Is it a bad idea for me to go back to school?

Dear Oracle,
I want to go back to school and get my associates. I’m discouraged because I struggled last time (due to mental health) and ended up withdrawing from many classes. I have a career goal in mind, and this would be the first step, but I’m anxious. Is this a bad idea?
—School Dreams

Cards: Three of Swords, Ten of Cups (reversed), The Seeker, Six of Cups (reversed)

Dear SD,

It is profoundly brave to start working towards a dream. That goes double for starting again after a setback. It is not a bad idea to go back to school—if it’s something you want to do, then it’s a great idea! That is easy enough to glean from the cards. But they also give a glimpse into your emotional landscape.

Your current position is the Three of Swords, a card of heartbreak and grief. When it comes to returning to school, you are still hurt about what happened last time and might be worried that it will happen again. It can be incredibly crushing to work hard towards something and not be able to achieve it, I know. I think you should look back at the context. You said you had to withdraw due to mental health reasons. Have you been able to tend to yourself? Do you have better coping skills or medication or resources that may help you now that you didn’t have back then?

With the Ten of Cups and the Six of Cups reversed, I would bet your career goal is something you’ve wanted since childhood. These are cards of a long-lasting love and a desire for completion. It’s understandable that you would be hesitant to start back on the path to your goal because if you didn’t start, you can’t fail. It can feel like a softer blow to not try for something that you want rather than try and fail.

Send your questions for the Oracle to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram .

Find more of her and book services via carolinedebruhl.com But here’s the secret: it’s fucking painful to give up on a dream, no matter how you go about it. If you try, at least there’s a chance you’ll get it.

The only Major Arcana card here is The Seeker, a card unique to my deck (Uusi’s “Pagan Otherworlds”). The drawing is of a man reaching through a dome surrounding the earth and looking towards the heavens. It is for seeking a greater truth and a world beyond what you know.

It might take a few years for you to accomplish your first goal. It might take many years for you to reach your ultimate goal. But time marches on, whether we’re doing something we love or not. You have the drive of The Seeker and the love of the Cups to guide you as you take on academia—and they will see you far. You can do this. If you need to go slow for your health, then you go slow. If you need to take a break because life happens, so be it. But you can do this.

I know you can.

Dear Oracle,

I have a parasocial hatred for a certain celebrity. They’ve always bothered me, but now I can’t escape them, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how they’re evil and all the fucked up things they’ve done. I find myself on snarking subreddits and shit-talking with others a lot…and I think it’s affecting my soul? How can I stop giving a shit about this famous person? —Hate Rain On Me

Cards: Three of Wands, Five of Swords (reversed), Knight of Pentacles, Ace of Cups

Dear Hate,

Reading your question made me think of Christopher Hitchens, the blustering writer and intellectual parasite, who I still want to punch in the teeth, and that fucker’s been dead for 13 years now. Believe me, I understand the weird thrill of a parasocial beef, but hate-consuming content just leads to soul-rot for you and article clicks for your nemesis. It’s a no-win situation.

I want to start with the Five of Swords reversed, which can be read as “but I’M RIGHT!” This celebrity might be evil. They might deserve public reckoning, but that’s not your job. You’re not going to be Michael the Archangel here. This hatred is wrapped up tightly in your ego, and I think it’s time to let it go.

The Three of Wands is a reflective moment of growth. You already know that snarking on Reddit is bad for your heart. So what can you replace it with? What sort of higher purpose might you find with that time and energy?

That question also comes up with The Knight of Pentacles, a card about holding on to what you value and helping it grow. So, what do you actually give a shit about? Hobbies? Career? Friendships? How can you be calm and present and fill your life with things you value?

We end, of course, with The Ace of Cups because the only way out of blinding hate is boundless love. Do things you love, spend time with people you love, give to those who need love. Block tags for your celebrity nemesis on Twitter or Instagram or Spotify or wherever and follow artists or people you like. Make something with your hands for someone. Volunteer. Help out your neighbors. Give without expecting anything back. Embrace Agape. Live vivaciously and leave the brittle little hate behind. There is so much darkness in the world already. If you can create a small pocket of light for yourself and those you love, if you can witness and propagate wonder and beauty, if you can do your fellow humans a good turn, then perhaps you’ll feel your soul bloom again.

And if you need a drop of poison to make the cure, think about your “evil” celebrity nemesis—don’t you want to be a better person than them? Moral superiority isn’t soul-gratifying, but if it gets you to start growing, so be it.

May your life be filled with wondrous love, my dear.

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