Child-free weddings have become increasingly common over the years, but one bride has decided to ban her little sister from her wedding for a unique reason.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit , the woman explained that she was the oldest of her siblings and she and her fiancé would always watch them after school while occasionally spending the night with them.
However, after he proposed to her, two of the older siblings were very excited for them, while her five-year-old sister, Evie, wasn’t. “She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him and if I marry him she can’t. She refused to speak to me for almost a week and now she’s mostly okay but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me any time she sees me kiss him,” her Reddit post read.
The original wedding plan was to have Evie be the flower girl, but with her recent behavior, the bride-to-be said she’s decided to reconsider. After telling her father about her concerns, she told him Evie would not be allowed to attend unless she started attending therapy.
“He’s saying she doesn’t need therapy, she’s just a five year old with a crush on my fiancé, I’m overreacting, and she won’t forgive me if I exclude her from the wedding,” the Reddit post continued.
The bride also clarified that therapy was a last resort and both she and her fiancé have spoken to Evie.
“We have tried everything. We’ve talked about her behavior, her feelings, that what she’s doing isn’t acceptable, that my fiancé will still be in her life but nothing helped. She goes to time out right when she starts hitting and kicking, she loses toys, she’s left outings early, and my fiancé refuses to play with her after because he doesn’t play with anyone that hits. This is not normal five year old behavior,” she wrote.
“There is nothing else we can do. And to everyone saying her parents need to parent, how do you suggest I do that? They’ll neglect the kids whether they have them full or part time.”
After posting, many people took to the comments to tell the bride she shouldn’t let the situation affect her wedding, and that her parents should take more control of Evie’s behavior.
“Naturally a father who lets his adult daughter take 50 percent custody of his adolescent kids is going to dismiss behavioral issues where therapy is absolutely warranted. NTA, dig your heels in on this one. Obviously there’s more at play here than this story, but regardless you should not be enabling anything that might derail your wedding,” one comment began
“In the meantime, educate yourself on ‘parentification.’ It’s good that your fiancé is all over your siblings and supportive of you, but this dynamic is sooner or later going to screw up your relationship with him if left to fester.”
Another commenter agreed that the problem was beyond Evie having a crush on the bride’s fiancé.
“She’s five and can’t verbalize what is likely very confusing for her - her own parents don’t seem to love her, you and your fiancé do and she wants more of that love and affection from your fiancé,” they wrote. “She definitely needs therapy and her parents need to step up and fill in the obvious gap that exists. You and your fiancé need to step back and not take the kids so much. Their parents need to parent their kids.”
The comment continued: “How will you and your fiancé build your life together if you are the caregivers for all of your siblings? What happens if you choose to have your own kids? How will your siblings react when you can no longer care for them and need to care for your own children? The problem is much bigger than your baby sister not getting to be the flower girl at your wedding.”
However, others felt that the five-year-old’s behavior was nothing to worry about, with some suggesting it is common among children. “I wanted to marry my brother when I was little, I think I was older than five. I was very worried as I have two sisters and he might want to marry one of them instead,” one person wrote. “I’m not sure this is as worrying as some people here seem to think. Tell her that he can’t marry her yet as she’s too young, but he will once she’s grown up. I promise you she won’t hold him to it.”
Another said: “I literally remember telling my mom I’m going to marry my dad when I grow up when I was a little kid. I’m glad it’s common. It’s awkward to remember.”
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