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The #1 Unexpected Reason Why Millennials Hate Talking on the Phone, According to Psychologists
By Beth Ann Mayer,
11 hours ago
"Kids these days are always on their phones" was a common refrain Millennials heard growing up. The generation that essentially served as guinea pigs for technology, navigating dial-up and the horrors of having to press the No. 2 three times to get a "C" while texting, eventually graduated to iPhones. Ironically, while Millennials (and other generations—even older ones) certainly racked up screen time hours, they weren't actually talking on the phone—and they still aren't.
Millennials aren't "kids" anymore (thanks for pointing that out, Gen-Z ), but they remain phone-call-adverse. A 2022 survey by Edison Mail found that 74% of Millennials ranked texting as their most used form of communication, with only 22% saying the same about phone calls.
Is that a good thing? A bad thing? Perhaps a better question is: Why is it a thing?
"If you’re a self-development junkie or generally curious about yourself and how you move through the world, you may learn a lot by exploring the pros and cons of how you communicate," says Dr. Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D. , a licensed psychologist in Texas. "Communication is the bedrock of relationships, so anything you can do to invest in your communication growth is always worth it."
Psychologists share the surprising reason Millennials don't like talking on the phone (plus a few more) to help everyone understand one another better. They also discuss times when picking up the phone and giving someone a voice call is the better option.
The No. 1 Surprising Reason Millennials Killed Phone Calls
Millennials didn't kill phone calls (or fabric softeners or napkins, for that matter). However, statistics show many aren't into chatting on the phone, and psychologists say there's a reason: control. "Millennials often prefer written communication, like texting or emailing, because it allows them to control the timing and content of their responses," Dr. McGeehan says. "Written communication lets them think through their replies, avoid awkward pauses and respond at their convenience."
Compare that to phone calls, where control is far more limited.
"Phone calls, on the other hand, require immediate, on-the-spot reactions and can be more unpredictable, which can lead to anxiety and a feeling of being unprepared," Dr. McGeehan explains.
The control has another layer, which Dr. McGeehan alluded to: timing, which matters to Millennials.
"Millennials are a generation about efficiency and productivity," says Dr. Michele Goldman, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor . "This generation is focused and has a desire for advancement within the workplace. [Millennials] are go-getters. In that regard, this generation typically prefers to use technology in a manner that is efficient and increases productivity. Talking on the phone is not aligned with either efficiency or productivity."
Older research from OpenMarket , which found 75% of Millennials would choose to lose the ability to talk on the phone versus sending a text, had similar findings. More than three-quarters of participants (76%) reported that they preferred texting for the convenience and ability to send messages on their schedule, while 63% felt texts were "less disruptive" than a voice call.
Why the Reason for Millennial Phone-Aversion May Surprise People
Oh, besides the fact that Millennials are actually go-getters who value productivity despite being labeled "lazy"?
"It may surprise older generations to know that part of the reason that Millennials lack social skills is in part due to the way the older generations raised us," Dr. McGeehan explains. "Older generations generally didn’t tend to the emotional and social needs of younger generations, and it’s playing out currently as folks are growing and mental health is being normalized."
If you raised a Millennial, hear Dr. McGeehan out before you get defensive:
"I'm not one to say, 'You made us this way' because that's just one piece of the puzzle," Dr. McGeehan says. "The other is the huge boom in technology that Millennials were exposed to growing up. You put the increase in tech mixed with poor social skills and some emotional neglect, and you've got the perfect recipe for avoidance, which I believe we see playing out with a preference for written communication over spoken communication."
Dr. Goldman wants to double-tap on the "growing up as technology advanced" piece.
"This is a generation that went from talking on landlines, renting VHS tapes and blowing dust out of video game systems to the present-day world of technology that we live in," Dr. Goldman says. "During that time, this generation moved through various advances and a massive growth of technology. It is understandable that throughout this process, Millennials have landed on preferences of how they relate to technology and how they choose to interface with others via technology, especially in light of productivity, efficiency and effectiveness."
In this always-on world, we can communicate with a friend halfway across the globe while standing in line to buy groceries. However, the person in front of you and the cashier may not wish to hear your inside jokes.
"In public or shared spaces, having a phone conversation can be inconvenient and intrusive," Dr. McGeehan says. "Text-based communication offers more privacy, allowing Millennials to interact discreetly without broadcasting their conversations to those around them. This reason tends to make a lot of sense to me. No one likes the person talking loudly on a business call in the waiting room of a doctor's office."
2. Receipts
While texting, emailing and using messaging apps offer more privacy, they often also let communication live on indefinitely, serving as an insurance policy.
"Millennials find text or email to be a superior method of communication, as there is a reference of who said what, when, what was agreed upon," Dr. Goldman says.
3. Multitasking
Millennials often have a lot going on at any moment—work, sick family members and paying bills are among the items on this generation's to-do list. It's challenging to snuggle a sick toddler to sleep and tell a partner to pick up more cough medicine on the way home. That's what written communication is for.
"While some millennials prefer talking on the phone with earbuds or headphones so they can be hands-free, other Millennials prefer texting or emailing while they are engaged in other tasks, such as commuting or making dinner," Dr. Goldman says.
4. Low energy
All that productivity, efficiency and multitasking can come at a cost: Life is exhausting. Texting is just plain easier on days when you just can't.
"Many of us are working or dealing with people all day," Dr. Goldman says. "Sometimes, especially at the end of the day, we do not want to expend any more energy with other people, aside from parents or children, if applicable. Generally, talking on the phone requires more energy than other methods of communication."
Car accidents or the need to pick up a sick child from school are best discussed over the phone.
"When immediate attention or action is required, a phone call can convey urgency more effectively than text," Dr. McGeehan says. "You don’t want your child’s daycare to be texting you that they’re running a fever and just threw up. You want that phone call so you move into action more quickly."
2. Complex conversations
Voice calls are more useful when the conversation is complicated, whether going over bloodwork with a doctor or trying to resolve a conflict with a loved one.
"Detailed, nuanced discussions are often better handled verbally, where tone and immediate clarification can enhance understanding," Dr. McGeehan says.
3. The Other Person Prefers a Call
Sometimes, it's best to meet another person where they are at.
"If you are speaking with someone who you know their preferred method is speaking on the phone, it is best to accommodate their style," Dr. Goldman says. "Ideally, that person will also try to accommodate your style. Work together on what is best when."
For instance, someone might text you during the workday, but you call them in the evening when you are home.
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