A man with terminal cancer who may only have five months to live is fundraising to “make memories” with his wife, renew his vows, and “complete his bucket list” during the time he has left.
Oliver Anderson, 31, a former car body repairer and sprayer, who lives in Dunfermline , Scotland , was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in August 2019, aged 26, after experiencing a “sore back”.
Oliver, who lives with his 27-year-old wife Ann-Marie, a former security guard, then had radiotherapy, followed by a targeted cancer drug, and was able to manage his symptoms over the following years.
However, after having seizures in March this year, Oliver was told the cancer has spread to his brain, kidneys, and oesophagus – and he now has “anywhere between five months and five years left to live”.
Oliver said he has recently been told by doctors that the “best option” would be to complete a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) form, but he and his wife are “not ready for that”.
With Oliver unable to work and living on benefits, the couple are now fundraising for £2,000 to help them “make memories” together, such as going on staycations, having meals out, and renewing their vows.
Oliver told PA Real Life: “I know I’m going to die, it’s just knowing when – and now I’ve been given that timescale.
“The fact is my wife could only have five months with me or she could have five years – but that’s not enough. That’s why we’re trying to make as many memories as possible.”
Speaking about how much raising the money would mean to him, he added: “It would be incredible. I’ve never seen that amount of money before in my life.
“I’ve never had £1,000 to my name in my life, so I’d probably cry (if we hit the target).”
Oliver’s symptoms, which included back pain down his spine, started in July 2019 – but when he first visited the hospital, he said he was just “sent out the door” with Ibuprofen.
As the pain worsened and became “excruciating”, affecting his ability to walk, he visited another hospital and underwent blood tests, scans, and biopsies.
“I thought I’d injured my back at work or maybe I’d pulled a muscle,” Oliver said.
“There was no inclination it was anything more serious, and I had four or five doctors tell me at this stage, ‘Don’t worry, it’s not cancer’.”
Approximately two weeks later, however, Oliver said he was called back to hospital, where he was introduced to a lung specialist, a doctor, and a Macmillan nurse – and that is when it “hit home”.
It was on this day, on August 9 2019, that he was informed he had incurable Stage 4 lung cancer.
“When I was told it was cancer, I thought I should be okay, but when I was told it was Stage 4 lung cancer, which means it’s terminal, then things started to change in my life,” he said.
“I went from being able to work to not being able to do anything.
“We just broke down and we couldn’t understand how something as simple as having a sore back could change your life so dramatically.”
Ann-Marie added: “All that went through my head at the time was, ‘Is he going to die?’ It just broke me, I couldn’t function.”
Three days later, on August 12, Oliver started having radiotherapy, which was targeted in his chest – and he said the treatment left him unable to swallow food or drink.
He was then prescribed Alectinib – a type of targeted cancer drug – but was advised that he should not expose his face or body to sunlight while taking the capsules.
“That’s one downfall to the treatment,” he explained.
“It has limited me for years, not being able to go out in the sun and enjoy myself.”
On March 4 this year, after having seizures and becoming paralysed on the left side of his body, he was given the news that the cancer has spread to his brain, kidneys, and oesophagus.
After seeking a second opinion from another doctor, he has since been told he has between five months and five years to live and is taking new medication.
Oliver said he has “lost (his) way” and his diagnosis has affected his mental health – but he has done his utmost to “stay strong” for Ann-Marie, who has cared for him throughout.
She has helped to wash and feed him, and she supported him when he struggled to walk, taking him from using a wheelchair, to a Zimmer frame, to now a walking stick.
“I can’t thank her enough for everything she’s done for me,” Oliver said.
“When I first got diagnosed, I genuinely thought she’d run for the hills because I felt I was putting pressure on her to stay when she could have done whatever she wanted with her life. I love her to pieces.”
Oliver said he and Ann-Marie have decided to “put bills aside” as they want to “try to have more fun” with the time he has left – and this led them to set up their GoFundMe page, with a target of £2,000.
The couple want to renew their vows on October 25 this year, as they got married on this date in 2019, and Oliver wants to try to pick up some of his old hobbies again, such as fishing.
The couple have shared their story on their TikTok account @annmarie719 and would encourage anyone to contact them, as they want to help others and raise awareness.
Oliver said he is on benefits, including Universal Credit, and has never had “£1,000 to (his) name”, so raising any amount of money would be “out of this world”.
To find out more, visit their fundraiser.
“Making memories to us is as simple as going out for a bite to eat,” Oliver said.
“I don’t have this extravagant plan of jumping out of a plane or going skydiving, it’s more about going away for a night at a hotel, having dinner one night, or going out for a steak or a hot chocolate.
“We don’t expect much because in our world we don’t need much to be happy.
“As long as we do the little things together, that’s all that counts.”
Speaking about the advice they would give to others, Ann-Marie added: “If anything’s wrong, go and get checked and don’t stop until you’ve got answers.”
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