Opinion: Usha Vance Is About to Transform Into a Trumpian Trad Wife

In the reality show that is Trumpian politics, appearance is not just important—it’s everything.

On Monday, as a noticeably slimmed down J.D. Vance basked in the glow of a vice presidential nomination, the spotlight inevitably also fell on his wife, Usha.

Gripping her husband’s hand as the RNC crowd hustled him for selfies, she could not have looked more supportive—or more out of place. Dressed in the professional woman’s uniform of a sleeveless taupe sheath dress, Usha appeared suited to take a deposition at her law firm, Munger Tolles and Olson—if she hadn’t just resigned from her position as senior litigator. That morning, Usha walked away from her high-paying corporate gig to take on the volunteer position of Trumpian trad wife.

With her work-life makeover already in motion, Usha’s physical makeover is not far behind. The understated elegance that has served her since Yale (where she met her husband) through her years clerking for Supreme Court Justices John Roberts and Brett Kavanaugh (a conservative two-fer!) is over.

Lest we forget, her husband’s new running mate used to own the Miss Universe pageant. Donald Trump has a type—thin, busty, blond, young. Not long ago, the former president was asked for his thoughts on Taylor Swift . He responded, “I think she’s beautiful—very beautiful! I find her very beautiful” Or remember how during the deposition for the sexual assault of author E. Jean Carroll , Trump confused photos of Carroll with his mistress turned second, short-term wife Marla Maples ?

Nina Burleigh, author of Golden Handcuffs: The Secret History of Trump’s Women, said the first requirement for the ideal MAGA political woman is to be camera ready.

“Witness the makeover Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Kellyanne Conway and Elise Stefanik have undertaken. Whatever other qualifications they have—law degree, corporate CEO, senator, congresswoman—are secondary to that Mar-a-Largo, Trump branded ideal,” she said. “If they can walk on stiletto heels without tripping or ever looking down, even better. Anything less and the old man won’t share the stage with them. Women are his prop and his picture of Dorian Gray.”

So where does that leave Usha? Trump knows, hell, we all know what’s coming. Big eyes and hair. Monday’s minimal make-up look is done, so too is her current hair, shiny but shapeless. Out go the gray streaks and in come the hair extensions, eyelash extensions, swollen lips and boob job. For in Trumpland, the female makeover isn’t just about appearance it’s about signaling allegiance to the Trump brand. Loyalty is displayed as much through optics as through action. It is not enough to show her love for J.D., which was on display on Monday, she must also show what wasn’t yet on display, her love for Trump.

If the second lady wannabe needs inspiration, she can watch The Handmaid’s Tale then consult her sister wives Oferic (Lara,) Ofdonjr (Kimberly,) Ofmichael (Tiffany,) Ofjared ( Ivanka) and Ofdonald (Melania). Each of these women sport the same cascading cheerleader hair as they cheer on their men in the arena. Guilfoyle was once a lawyer, too. Now she’s a Republican adviser with tunnel cleavage and heavy dark eye makeup that would make even Cleopatra say, “Honey, hold the kohl.”

How long will it take for one of the Trump women to pull OfJ.D. aside and nicely advise her to ditch the taupe, which doesn’t pop on television. It’s time to bring on the primary color sheath dresses in red and blue and the patent Louboutin heels that hark back to the days of Roger Ailes and his Fox News anchorettes.

Should Usha need another example, she should consider the evolution of Trump’s previous running mate’s wife. Karen Pence entered the Naval Observatory as a midwest matron. Within months of being forced to share a stage with first lady Melania, the second lady had quickly dropped 15lbs and traded her motherly bob for a mid-part shag. Ofmike attracted further notice when she added a round of chestnut highlights.

At the time, Pence explained that her weight loss was due to a grueling six months of CrossFit. She also ditched her pantsuits for shorter dresses, though a cutout halter-neck mini-dress to meet the King and Queen of Jordan was too much for some. “Did mother think she was going to the disco in that inappropriate dress? Not for the occasion or her age,” scolded @Martamendoza718 on Twitter. “The dress is too short and tight for her,” said @imed314.

Like Pence, Vance will be pressured to polish her surface. Pay close attention on Wednesday evening when J.D. gives his veep address. On Monday she wasn’t even wearing earrings. Look for jewelry, big pearls, and brighter lipstick. The hair will be cut, or possibly longer, though good extensions take time. The extent to which she capitulates fully will be obvious by November.

It’s a rite of passage and it happens to all of them screaming for Donald’s attention. Just look at Harvard educated Elise Stefanik, Lauren Boebert, or Marjorie Taylor Green with her “bleach blond bad built butch body”. Even dog-shooting South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem fine-tuned her face to fit the Trump aesthetic. With her snowcapped veneers and flowing locks, Noem isn’t just a governor, she’s now the boss’ type and pining for a Cabinet position.

The transformation of Usha Vance from a distinguished Yale Law graduate and Supreme Court clerk to a meticulously styled “trad wife” is emblematic of the larger narrative surrounding women in Trump’s orbit.

For a child of Indian immigrants who has risen fast within the legal profession, being reduced to a smiling sidekick with fake hair and eyelashes is not just a personal loss, it’s a visual symbol of Trump’s policies that see women hurtling straight back to the 1950s.

Joanna Coles is Chief Content Officer and Creative officer of The Daily Beast and executive producer of The Bold Type on Hulu

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