How we met: ‘I told her all about my wild exploits in college – I wanted to shock her’

When Joanna’s school in Worcestershire planned an exchange trip to the US in 1989, she had no idea what to expect. “I was in the lower sixth form, and a group of us went for a month to Columbus in rural Georgia,” she says. “It was a culture shock. You had to recite the pledge of allegiance at the start of every day and all the kids seemed more confident and outgoing.”

She was being hosted by one of the teachers at the school, who had a daughter a few years younger than Joanna. For the first few days of her stay, the girls didn’t click. “I wasn’t convinced that Julie was happy I was staying with them,” she laughs. “I think her mum thought it would be good for her but she didn’t seem sure.”

Julie now says that she was being “a brat”. “I’m an only child and I wasn’t used to sharing a bathroom,” she says. She thought Joanna seemed “cool and reserved”, and says the cultural barrier seemed huge in her teens. “I’d never met anyone from a different country before.”

Although they didn’t share any classes, they saw each other during the evenings and weekends. “The first weekend, Jo didn’t want to come to church with us,” says Julie. “It blew my mind. I’d never met anyone who didn’t go to church at Easter.”

But Julie soon adjusted to having someone else in the house. “We have a similar sense of humour and she made me laugh a lot,” she says. That summer, the US students travelled to the UK, and Julie stayed with Joanna’s family in Worcestershire. “Jo’s family were so nice to me, it was a really great trip,” she says.

At first, the pair stayed in touch via letters, but they lost contact a few years later. In 1997, Joanna used an early online directory of email addresses to find Julie, as she missed her penfriend. By then Joanna was a trainee solicitor in Worcester and Julie was studying religion in Athens, Georgia.

“When she emailed me, I told her all about my wild exploits being a rocker in college. I wanted to shock her with my anecdotes,” Julie laughs. They both got married and both had two children, and they shared pictures and stories about their experiences through emails and phone calls.

By 2004, Joanna was a stay at home mum, while Julie was studying for her graduate degree in religion. For her 30th birthday, she decided to visit the UK on a solo trip. “I stayed with Jo, and I got to know her husband and her two girls,” she says. “It was the best two weeks of my life.” Joanna was impressed by how open-minded her friend had become. “I always knew she was someone I wanted to be friends with, even when she was a teenager, but by then her horizons had been broadened by travel and meeting new people.”

Two years later, Julie’s mother moved to York in the UK for work, and she began to visit more regularly. “I’d always go and see Jo. It was like going home, because she’s my family.” In 2009, they went on a joint family trip together to Florida, where they all got on brilliantly.

When Julie’s mother died in 2011, Joanna flew out to see her friend in the US. “She was such a huge support to me,” says Julie. “At Christmas, she invited me to stay at her house while she was away in Australia because I couldn’t bear being at home, being reminded of growing up with my mum.”

Callout

The two women have also supported each other through their career moves: Julie became a teacher in 2011, while Joanna has had a range of jobs, including a teaching assistant, library assistant and most recently starting a recruitment company with her sister. “She’s always there and I know I can talk to her with no judgment. I’ll get wisdom and laughter,” says Joanna. While Joanna still lives in Worcestershire, Julie moved to Charleston in 2014.

Joanna loves how accepting her friend is. “Julie makes people feel good about themselves and she’s genuinely interested in their stories,” she says. “She’s got a wise head on her shoulders and I can see people warming to her as soon as they talk to her.”

Julie describes Joanna as practical and caring. “She puts everyone else first. Being friends with someone from a different culture and background has been one of the greatest gifts in my life.”