Here’s the reason you can’t get a boyfriend: Jana Hocking

What if there was one word that could perfectly summarize why you are still single? Well, there may be.

I just happened to stumble upon it recently and I had the biggest light bulb moment that helped me face a painful truth.

It’s “fleabagging.” And it’s safe to say I have suffered from it for at least 10 years now. Perhaps longer.

The word comes from the iconic TV series “Fleabag,” about a woman in her 30s who bounces from one disastrous man to the next.

They all have one thing in common: They are emotionally unavailable, slightly risky, massive players, and all-around dud dudes. But the lead character keeps dating the same type of guy repeatedly.

Death to dating apps: Gen Z prefers meeting matches at funerals and other odd hot spots

During the COVID era, I devoured that TV series because I had never found a show that resonated with me so deeply.

However, therein lies the problem: This satirical series made the punchline about her having terrible taste in men — a trait I rather annoyingly found in myself.

Now don’t get me wrong, these guys are all perfectly fine if you were friends with them. Funny, charming, the life of the party. But to date them is an entirely different story. My 10 years of situationships all featured one thing: I dated guys who were never in the market for a girlfriend. And I collected them like baseball cards.

Dear Abby: A married man wants me to be his side piece

And I can’t even shame them, because it’s what I accepted. In fact, if I’m being completely honest with myself, they all showed their red flags early. I just happened to turn into a bull when I saw them and charged straight toward those red flags with a big ol’ smile on my face. Oh, Jana.

And it’s not just me. So many of my friends are finding themselves stuck in never-ending situationship cycles with guys who have zero plans of settling down. They go on cute dates, have fun sleepovers, but when it comes to the “What are we” chat … well, that’s when things get tricky.

It’s really horrible to watch it play out. And a recent study by dating site Plenty of Fish found that 63 percent of women are stuck in the same cycle.

Thankfully, I’ve turned a corner. The crazy thing is I actually just got really bored of the whole thing. The drama, the rejection, the emotional roller coaster. It stopped being exciting and I longed for a bit of normality. Plus, my cortisol levels were shot. Basically, I had situationship burnout, and thank God!

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR MORNING REPORT NEWSLETTER

Earlier this year, I made some fairly dramatic changes. I called off any form of kinda/sorta dating scenario. I started asking guys what they were looking for a lot earlier, and when a guy showed Peter Pan tendencies (i.e., they never really grow up), I aborted the mission. The old me would have seen it as a fun challenge. Oh Lord.

Since then, things have been on an upturn. I’ve started going for guys with gentlemanly traits. I was flattered when a guy recently asked me to dinner, and he not only made a booking but also turned up in a gorgeous outfit, with a fresh spritz of cologne and a great attitude. And here’s the kicker, girls: He then followed it up with a swoon-worthy text when he left thanking me for a great time.

Now this all sounds like minor things, but when you’ve been settling for breadcrumbs in the past, this is actually a big whoop. Plus it says a lot about the standard for dates I had accepted in the past.

Far too many times, we’re settling for a drink and a fondle and calling it a date. Snore.

There’s the famous saying, “The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Well, perhaps it’s about time we start taking responsibility for our own part in this garbage dating process and start upping our standards.

If he sounds like a dud, don’t see him as a challenge, see him as a full stop and move on to someone better. Someone good for your cortisol levels. Honestly, I can’t recommend it enough.

For the latest in lifestyle, top headlines, breaking news and more, visit nypost.com/lifestyle/