Oracle of Ybor: I didn't get invited to a bachelorette party, and that hurts

Dear Oracle,

I have a close friend who decided to have a tiny wedding with just family. I supported her decision and still had fun talking to her about her dress and all the details. But, in the months leading up to the wedding, she posted not one but two bachelorette parties she had, neither one of which I was invited to. She never mentioned these to me, and I was hurt (twice!) when I saw her post them on IG. I don’t even know if I have a right to be hurt or talk to her about it. Do the cards have any advice? —Girl, trippin?

Cards: Full Moon, Death, Four of Cups (reversed), Page of Wands

Dear Girl,

When I told my best friend of 10 years that I couldn’t afford the $1,200 airfare to her bachelorette, she kicked me out of the wedding and literally never spoke to me again, so I have a very dark view of bachelorette parties on the whole.

That being said, I want to give your friend the benefit of the doubt. These parties (multiple?!) might have been organized by other people/ groups of friends, and your exclusion was not a personal snub from the bride. She might not have been aware of the guestlist; she might not have even been aware of parties. And if she was, that was her choice on how she wanted to celebrate her wedding. I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk to her about it.

Send your questions for the Oracle to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram .

Find more of her and book services via carolinedebruhl.com However…I would have given a close friend a heads-up about a party they weren’t invited to before blasting it on the socials. Feeling excluded sucks, no matter your age, and you have every right to feel hurt. Your friend did a disservice there.

The cards seem to address the friendship as a whole, which suggests that this isn’t the first time she’s done something thoughtless.

With the Full Moon, feelings that have been under the surface for a while are now coming up, and the reversed Four of Cups suggests feeling disillusioned with this friendship for some time. You don’t mention her being cruel, so perhaps she’s unaware of her behavior. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

As the Page of Wands, you are someone who can do a lot of soul-searching and explore new things, which could mean evaluating how you want this relationship to look in the future. Because, with Death looming, something has to change with this friendship. A little distance might make your expectations feel more in line with what your friend can give. She may occasionally be thoughtless with your feelings, but maybe she’s great at talking about bat-shit reality tv or someone who’s great to get drinks with once a month.

I know you said she is a close friend, and I sincerely hope that your friendship can one day return to that. But a readjustment might be best for all parties for the time being.

Do send her a card for her wedding, though. She’s still your friend you love.

Dear Oracle,

I’m feeling stuck in an existential sort of way. I’m wondering if I should move. Thoughts? —This (might be) the place?

Cards to stay: Two of Cups, Ace of Cups, Six of Cups (all reversed)
Cards to move: The Emperor (reversed), Ten of Swords, Five of Cups
What you really need: Six of Swords, The Moon (reversed), The Sun

Dear Place,
The old adage “wherever you go, there you are” is true. I don’t think a move is going to solve this existential block. If anything, it’ll make it front and center.

I understand why you’re feeling stuck. With the three-cup cards, including the childhood Six of Cups, your current town is true love. It’s your hometown (literally or metaphorically.) It’s where you grew up, it’s where you see yourself settling down. It’s a place you love dearly. But that old love and comfort can make a lovely trap, much like a cozy bed on a rainy day.

To move would rip you out of that comfort completely. As The Emperor, you would have to make your own path and deal with the feelings of fear and disillusionment of the Ten of Swords and Five of Cups without a robust social network. With none of the comforts of home to distract you, you’d be in for a very brutal excavation of the soul.

But you need to do that excavation anyway. Stay or go, that existential baggage needs to be dealt with. With the transformative journey of the Six of Swords and the subconscious Moon, I’d say you’re better off finding a good therapist you trust and working with them. It might take a while, but the payoff is The Sun, the shining light of success and victory! I think you’ll emerge from this discomfort with a much stronger sense of self and vision for what you want your life to be. Hell, I even think you might end up happy.

I know therapy isn’t as sexy as picking up and moving to Bali or whatever, but treating your underlying ennui is the first step, and it might be easier to examine your soul while surrounded by the comforts of home. And who knows? Maybe after a year of therapy, you decide to move elsewhere for a career change or #vanlife or take a long vacation abroad. Maybe your love for your hometown will be revitalized.

In the meantime, you might also try taking a class or volunteering or doing something to scratch that “newness” itch. Just because you’re dealing with issues of the spirit doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. That switch up might help you start to feel a shift.

However you go about it, I hope you feel the warmth of the Sun soon.

Best of luck my dear.

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