Focus on the Family: It's never too late to learn something new

Q I won’t give my exact age, but I’m somewhere “mid-life.” My struggle is that I fear I’ve wasted too much time and won’t ever achieve anything worthwhile. Do you have any thoughts or encouragement?

A You might be in your thirties or forties, maybe even into your fifties. Regardless of your age, or what you have (or have not) done yet, keep looking forward. The best may be yet to come.

In fact, many notable people have achieved their greatest work late in life. Ray Kroc was almost 60 when he franchised his first McDonald’s restaurant. Laura Ingalls Wilder, author of the “Little House on the Prairie” series, published her first book at age 64 and the last when she was 76. “Colonel” Harlan Sanders founded the Kentucky Fried Chicken company at age 65.

Julia Hawkins started bicycling in her 80s and took up running at age 100. She holds multiple 100-meter dash age-group world records, including for those over 105 years old!

Or consider Anna Moses. Arthritis finally forced her to give up her hobby of embroidery, so at 76 she picked up a paint brush for the first time. Before she died at 101, “Grandma” Moses had produced more than 1,500 paintings — becoming one of the most celebrated artists in American history.

Admittedly, it can be discouraging to think that your young(er) adult years have slipped by without achieving goals important to you. But some people take a little longer to find their true passion and to develop the confidence and skills necessary to achieve their dreams.

So, why not live all of your life and concentrate on finishing well? It’s never too late to try — and learn — something new. You just might find your niche in the process.

Q I just found out my teen son has been vaping. What should I do?

A Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: The latest statistics from the National Youth Tobacco Survey estimate that around 1 in 8 teens use e-cigarettes. In some parts of the country, vaping use continues to rise.

Vaping’s purpose for a teen is likely either trying to fit in or seeking a means to cope with life. Most teens say vaping is relaxing and justify using e-cigarettes by claiming they’re not hurting anyone. However, they’re hurting themselves. Anyone who cares about them should make every attempt to stop them from vaping because it’s harmful to their health. Teens are prone to risk-taking, seeking approval, short-term rewards and stress, overriding potential long-term issues.

For teens, the desire to fit in outweighs most other considerations. Research shows that the teen brain views fitting in as part of survival, so they feel intense pressure to be accepted. As a result, the reward of peer acceptance is stronger than their intent to make responsible decisions.

Compassionately explore what your son is trying to solve with vaping — the momentum of his mental, relational and emotional world. Get curious and implement consistent, strong boundaries to help him discover new coping mechanisms. Ask questions like “Why do you think vaping is a good idea?” or “I understand it helps you relax, but what is vaping solving for you since it’s costing you so much?”

As you set boundaries on e-cigarette use, problem-solve together on other (i.e., healthy) coping options. Help him understand that although vaping seems to relieve stress, it actually puts his body into a stress response and makes him more dependent on a false sense of calmness. Stress is inevitable, and your son needs you to help him learn healthy coping mechanisms. Bring patience, clarity and consistency as you guide him toward true freedom and life.

For more helpful insights, see FocusOnParenting.com.