Food column: The allure of state fair foods

I am a fraud.

I’ve fashioned myself something of an Iowa “nationalist.” Not only was I born here, but I’ve been quite the Hawkeye daredevil over the years, tackling almost every challenge this state has to offer.

I like to brag about my gutsy solo ascent of the Ocheyedan Mound back in the early 90s, undertaken without safety harnesses or bottled oxygen. Then, in 2001, the other Michael and I descended into the wilderness known as Preparation Canyon in the Loess Hills. With the aid of neither a map (I left it in the car) nor sunscreen, we emerged hours later, sweaty and bug-bitten but flushed with the thrill of death-defying adventure.

Yessir. I’ve hiked the Floyd River and battled ghosts in Villisca. I’ve driven down Level B dirt roads on rainy days AND through Des Moines at rush hour. It’s all a part of that fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-stare-down-the-barrel-of-a-gun character trait I call “Iowocity” (trust me, it’s a word).

But now I realize that none of that matters. My life as an Iowa fundamentalist is all a lie due to the one experience my extreme life lacks:

I’ve never been to the Iowa State Fair. Heck, I’ve never even seen the Rodger’s and Hammerstein musical, “State Fair,” which is based on Iowa’s summer classic.

It’s not that I’m fair averse. Growing up, I spent at least one week every summer wandering around the 4-H building at the Osceola County Fair as my sisters’ cookies, muffins, afghans and cross-stitch creations were awarded blue ribbons.

But the Iowa State Fair has always eluded me. As a child, Des Moines was just too far to travel. As a young adult, there was graduate school and job hunting to deflect my attention. Lately, I’ve either been out of state or too into watching “Jeopardy” to pull myself loose.

And this year will probably be no different.

The Iowa State Fair begins on Aug. 8 and runs through Aug. 18. While people will be walking the midway, munching on fried Twinkies and riding the big slide, I will be here munching on fried Twinkies and hanging out with my dogs.

That’s because, in truth, you can make the Iowa State Fair experience come alive for yourself at home – foodwise, that is. With just a few ingredients and a little know-how, you can stuff yourself with delicious grilled pork-on-a-stick, enjoy a Fried Twinkie on the side and finish off with a dessert of funnel cakes.

It’s a way to put a little “Iowocity” into your own life without ever leaving your kitchen.

Molasses-Glazed Pork Skewers

Bobby Flay can call this recipe anything he likes, but to me, it’s always going to be “meat-on-a-stick.”

Our friend, H, introduced us to the joys of meat-on-a-stick many years ago at the Iowa City Arts Festival. The idea behind this dish is sheer brilliance: you take good old Iowa pork tenderloin, pound it until it’s nice and thin, and then grill it with a savory and sweet barbecue sauce. The stick means that it’s portable. You can have your pork and enjoy the fair too.

And it’s easy to make at home; starting the coals takes longer than grilling these morsels. In fact, you need to watch them carefully because they cook fast. And with molasses in the sauce, unless you want to enjoy blackened pork on a stick, you’ll pay attention to the grill.

Hang on to this recipe. Come Hawkeye football time, it would make a terrific tailgate treat.

Ingredients

1/4 cup molasses

1/2 cup Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon honey

Salt and freshly ground pepper

2 (1-pound) pork tenderloins, cut into strips and pounded thin

Olive oil

16 (6-inch) wooden skewers, soaked in cold water for 30 minutes

Heat grill to high. Whisk together the molasses, mustard, and honey in a small bowl. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

Skewer 1 piece of pork onto 2 skewers so that the meat lies flat. Brush the meat with oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill for 2 to 3 minutes per side or until cooked through, brushing with the glaze every minute. Remove from the grill and brush with more of the glaze. Serve immediately.

Famous Amish Funnel Cakes

If you want to find the funnel cake booth at any Iowa fair, just look for the longest line. These golden brown swirls of fried batter are always popular whether you’re in Adair or Zearing.

You need a large funnel to make these cakes properly. I lacked such a tool, so I just poured the batter from a large measuring cup. It worked out fine. Sure, my funnel cakes did not have the pretty swoops and curlicues of those made by professionals, but they still tasted pretty darn good.

This recipe comes from cooks.com.

Ingredients

3 eggs, beaten

2 cup milk

1/4 cup sugar

4 cup flour, sifted

2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Vegetable Oil for deep frying

Powdered sugar

Add milk and sugar to the beaten eggs. In a separate bowl, sift dry ingredients. Add to the egg mixture, beating until smooth. Heat oil to 375 degrees and pour batter into hot fat through a regular household funnel. Control the flow of batter by holding your finger over the bottom of the funnel. If your funnel isn’t big enough to ensure a smooth flow, just pour batter from a measuring cup.

Make patterns, designs, swirls or whatever with the stream of batter as it flows into the hot fat. When "cakes" are golden brown, drain, sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve warm.

Deep-Fried Twinkies

These just don’t sound like they could possibly be any good. At least that’s what I thought. Every time we’d go to a fair or festival, I’d scoff at the deep-fried Twinkie stand. It just sounded so strange.

But deep-fried Twinkies haven’t gone away. They continue to remain popular long after other food trends have faded. Thus, I had to give them a try.

My assessment: they are pretty darn good and better than plain Twinkies. Something weird happens to a Twinkie when you dip it in batter and fry it in hot oil. The cream filling turns to a hot liquid and oozes its way into the soft sponge cake in a way that’s hard to describe.

Some recommend sprinkling powdered sugar on the fried Twinkie, but I don’t think it’s necessary. These things are already sweet enough.

Ingredients

6 Twinkies

Popsicle sticks (I used chopsticks)

4 cups vegetable oil

Flour for dusting

1 cup milk

2 tablespoons vinegar

1 tablespoon oil

1 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Powdered sugar (optional)

Chill or freeze Twinkies for several hours or overnight.

Heat about 4 cups of vegetable oil in a deep-fryer to about 375 degrees.

Mix together milk, vinegar and oil. In another bowl, blend flour, baking powder and salt.

Whisk wet ingredients into dry and continue mixing until smooth. Refrigerate while oil heats. Push sticks into Twinkies lengthwise, leaving about 2 inches to use as a handle, dust with flour and dip into the batter. Rotate Twinkie until the batter covers the entire cake.

Place carefully in hot oil. The Twinkie will float, so hold it under with a utensil to ensure even browning. It should turn golden in 3 to 4 minutes.

Remove Twinkie to paper towel and let drain. Remove stick and allow Twinkie to sit for about 5 minutes, and dust with powdered sugar, if desired, before serving.

Deep-Fried Oreos

OK, so what can’t you deep-fry? Again, I was skeptical about these fair treats but discovered that they’re tasty. Like the Twinkie, the Oreo’s texture changes once it is dipped into the hot oil. The cookie crumbles into soft, warm pieces while the cream filling is turned into a molten gooey mess that’s a treat.

However, like the Deep-Fried Twinkie above, it’s best to eat these babies while they’re hot. Once they cool down, the cookie’s texture becomes soggy rather than gooey.

And, if you feel weird about eating a deep-fried Oreo, maybe you’ll take comfort in the fact that this recipe comes from Food Network star Emeril Lagasse. If it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for me.

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 large egg, lightly beaten

3/4 cup milk

Vegetable oil, for frying

20 to 25 Oreos

Powdered sugar (optional)

Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a large bowl. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and the milk. Combine the milk mixture with the flour mixture, stirring just until well blended.

In a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan, add enough oil to come 1/3 of the way up the sides of the pan, or about 1 1/2 inches deep. Heat oil to 375 degrees. Dip cookies in batter and carefully place in hot oil. Fry until batter is golden, about 2 minutes. Turn cookies and fry for 1 more minute. Remove and place cookies on a paper towel -lined plate. Dust with powdered sugar, if desired, and serve immediately.

Michael Knock is a food columnist for the Press-Citizen.

This article originally appeared on Ames Tribune: Food column: The allure of state fair foods