Can Gerrard, Lampard and Scholes all be England manager and other Tuesday musings

There’s backlash to Johnny Nic’s claims about the predictability of the Premier League and also more surprisingly to his criticisms of Budweiser, plus, inevitably, more on the England manager’s job.

Send your views to theeditor@football365.com

Six and out
We love Johnny Nic, but have to quibble a bit with his column this morning that the Premier League is too predictable (“I almost always get the top 6 right and usually the bottom 6”). This was decorated with the badges of the traditional “big 6”.

Funnily enough though – those 6 have only been in all the top 6 places in one of the last five years. In that time Villa, Newcastle, Brighton, Leicester and West Ham have cracked the top 6, and Wolves, Brentford, Fulham, and Palace have got above at least one of those 6 as well (mostly Chelsea). In fact with Newcastle and Villa both cracking the top 4 in the last two years, the Champions League places arguably haven’t been this uncertain for 20+ years.

I think Johnny’s wider point was that too many clubs have nothing to look forward to or enjoy, but West Ham, Villa, Brighton and Leicester fans might all quibble with that at the very least after rise and fall (or rise and rise) stories in the last 5–10 years. I certainly hope Villa are looking forward to CL – they should. With a Newcastle hat on, this season should be exciting – team and squad hopefully coming together. We’re obviously lucky for money and/or cursed with dodgy state owners as you wish, but there’s also some cause for optimism at any number of clubs outside the big 6 – great manager at palace, great system at Brighton, back where they want to be for leicester, surely it can only get better at Everton?

In fact the really gloomy people in the PL are usually more the fallen ex big 6 fans – arsenal mates five years ago, Chelsea and Man U for most of last season. Suffering pain of finding out top 4/6 status wasn’t as reliable as they thought. Funny innit?

At least there’s a bit of uncertainty about the CL places in Scotland, riiiight…?
Rog (the hoping begins again), Newcastle in London

Here for the beer
John Nicholson missed one other important point of similarity between the Premier League and Budweiser: lots of people really like it. In the 12 months to March 2023 only Stella Artois brands made more money in the UK from selling beer than Budweiser did.

John’s said before he doesn’t really drink beer so he won’t have seen much of the discussions in CAMRA and craft beer social media about this, so here’s a quick summary: despite what connoisseurs and enthusiasts think, people do not drink Carling, Budweiser, John Smith’s or Doom Bar because they have unsophisticated palates or because they are ignorant; they don’t only drink it because of sales contracts making them the main option in a lot of pubs; they drink it because they actually like it.

Personally, I don’t particularly like any of those beers and luckily for where I drink, I’m able to get something I do like. But you don’t win people over to what you like by telling them their favourite thing is rubbish. It doesn’t work for music either, and it doesn’t work for football. The Premier League is a deeply flawed proposition, with financial inequalities tilting the table before a ball is kicked, myriad sources of irritation during games, and countless other things besides. However, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to like it.

Previously, John has had far more praise for the Championship, and indeed here he mentions the “one of about 15 teams who win promotion”. That may be the case, for all the joys in the unpredictability of the second tier, it too is imperfect. Clubs are notoriously short-termist, frequently effectively gambling huge sums of money on trying to win promotion and hoping to avoid the dire consequences of not doing so. This short-termism also manifests itself in the huge churn of managers: over the past three seasons, 49 Championship managers have either been sacked or had their contracts cancelled by mutual consent, after an average of 47 games in charge. In other words, clubs give their managers one full season to win promotion and then replace they if they don’t, even though only three of the 24 teams who start the season, 15 of whom are apparently serious contenders, can end the season going up. Again, it’s not wrong to like it, but it’s no better or worse than the Premier League really, just different.
Ed Quoththeraven

Kane < Biden
Let me see if I understand this correctly…  Fresh reports are that Harry Kane won’t be fit for a reunion with Tottenham when Bayern meet them in an upcoming preseason friendly, as he rests a back injury picked up prior to the Euros tournament.  Yet, a very esteemed, resourceful, pragmatic Gareth Southgate chose to select Kane to lead the line throughout the Euros, effectively pinning the nation’s hopes on an unfit, immobile and out of form striker a ways into undoubted decline.  Dare I say, some kind of retroactive kudos are in order.

Really though, shame on Southgate for what we already knew at the time was pure ridiculousness of thought, and shame on Harry Kane for not stepping down when he knew he was clearly a detriment to his country as well as his own Spursy reputation.  Even Joe Biden knew when to sublimate his own ego and step aside for a greater good.
Eric, Los Angeles  CA

Out of step
To answer Vish (AFC), Melbourne . Just watch any match with Mbappe, he does them every single game I’ve ever seen him play. Its his standard attack, couple of step overs and burst past the defender.  Maybe you’re watching too much A-League where it’s doubtful there’s any players capable of a step over.

No need to thank me.
Dave, Perth, Australia

…Vish (AFC)’s email on missing stepovers and players who express themselves on the pitch in a flamboyant and unique way really resonated with me. It made me think of some of the best ‘streets won’t forget’ players. Here are some of mine:

Dimitri Payet: Not a West Ham fan but I absolutely loved watching this guy play. Maybe the last great wildcard player in the league. Feels almost forgotten now and I’m sure some hammers will probably have some criticism about his inconsistency but he was fabulous to watch and I miss him so much.

Hatem Ben Arfa: This one seems almost too obvious- Sometimes looked world class and sometimes looked useless but he was a truly unpredictable player whose skill at times was absolutely filthy. Could have been a contender but we will always have the..err…glory days.

Kevin Mirallas: This may seem like a more left-field nomination (especially so since I am a Liverpool fan) but I used to love watching him in action and I wanted him at Liverpool. I am guessing Everton fans don’t miss him but he always seemed to be to be a player who was marching to the beat of his own drum and constantly threatening to become an elite but loose cannon kind of player. He often seemed to be a player who was less interested in the tactical setup of the team and more on going out there and having fun and I enjoyed watching him.

Anyone else with similar nominations? I’m guessing no one can make a pick as unfashionable as Mirallas.
Turiyo Damascene

Gerrard and Lampard and Scholes, oh my
First off, Mr Alves is right – listen to Badwolf. He knows his stuff.

Second, as if people are trying to get at the signing of a hugely talented young defender many of the biggest teams were after. Have some pride, lads. He’s a kid, let’s not start knocking him quite yet, even in your desperation to attack United.

Third, thankfully someone has pointed out that the men and women’s games are relative. Obviously the same tactical approaches apply. It’s the same game with the same rules, no? However, this doesn’t mean the current women’s team incumbent is the right person for the job. In the women’s game, England are still one of the best, but the teams below – while they are improving fast – are not as competitive as in the men’s game. Money is the cause, of course, but it’s still true and arguably that doesn’t put Weigman in such a great light. Mind you, it’s not hard to argue it’s still a better light than most of the suggested alternatives…

Fourth then, and related to both #1 and #3, who should be manager for England. Didn’t we already agree on Dixon from the comments? If not, then I suggest Potter as lead manager, with Gerrard to do the media side (I just wanna hear his voice) and Lampard on the tactics board. Maybe we can fit Scholes into the team somewhere, maybe off on the left teaching people to tackle. For old time’s sake.
Badwolf

Sticky Toffees
In response to Ash (it’ll obviously go wrong though) Metcalfe “miffed because we didn’t pay more and buy Branthwaite off them”.

You’re spot on. Please come back and take our best player quickly before he signs a new contract. Would be gutting if he stayed with us.
Greg EFC