18th Street Jumbo Slices, Ranked

Eating a jumbo slice before midnight is more likely to happen if you started drinking at noon. These infamous pizza slices are as long as your arm and as full of grease as a McDonald’s fryer—a sober stomach is no match for them. But if you’ve been in DC long enough, you've gone through all the stages of coming to terms with this late-night rite of passage and should have settled comfortably into acceptance, and, yes, possibly low-key love. So the next time you're out in Adams Morgan and a trip to a drive-thru is impossible, here are the closest jumbo slices, ranked.

THE SLICES

Jumbo slices from $7.99

This spot is closest to the bars, which we always assumed was the reason the line cascades out the door and down the block at 3am every weekend. Turns out, these giant cheesy slices are the best on the block and the only ones on this list that are perfectly foldable—a dream slice for anyone taking it to go. Our only real note here is that we could use more sauce, and a little more char.

#2

Pizza Mart

$$$$Perfect For:Serious Takeout OperationClassic Establishment

Jumbo slices from $8

This one reminds us of a beloved old-school, thin crust Domino’s pizza and comes pretty close to the NY-style slice it's based on. It’s the only slice that doesn’t feel heavy, and while it will absolutely deliver a steady stream of orange oil over your shoes (unless you've perfected the jumbo pro lean), it's reliable, consistent, and has been around for decades for good reason. The best pick here is the better-than-average cheese, as the pepperoni taste can skew cardboardy.

Jumbo slices from $6.99

The slices at Aladdin’s Kitchen might win your affection—and a heavy dose of appreciation—by only having enough grease sloughing off to moisturize your face and not your entire body. There’s plenty of cheese, which we love, and we’d love it even more if they added more of their really tasty, slightly tart sauce.

Jumbo slices from $6.99

Duccini’s has the best pepperoni of the bunch. It’s thick, meaty, and crunchy, and the crust is crisp and buttery. It’s a point of honor in-house that this decades-old shop introduced these mammoth slices to the area—we’ll let them fight that good fight with Pizza Mart. The only caveat here is that the cheese and seasonings give it a bit of a frostbitten DiGiorno taste, but maybe that’s your thing.

Jumbo slices from $7.69

This slice is greasier than a kindergartner slathered in Vaseline on picture day. The pooling orange stuff runs like a faucet off the cheese when you pick it up, and taking a sober bite of it might instantly turn your stomach—save this one for emergency filler only and proceed carefully. There’s so much of the grease that it’s the main flavor you’ll taste.

Jumbo slices from $5.99

DC Pizza & Kabob’s slice is unexpectedly complex. It somehow competes with the greasiness of Passato’s, but is notably dry, too. By the looks of it, new cheese gets sprinkled on top before it’s heated up, and the way it crusts over sucks up any moisture left. It does clock in as the cheapest option, though, so there’s that.