‘Like a missing piece of a jigsaw’: Son’s joy at reunion with Irish birth mother

A former British soldier living in Germany has had his 50th birthday wish come true after being reunited with his biological mother in Ireland.

Mark Balls, now 53, was adopted as a baby and was “raised well” by his adoptive parents in London.

He was told by his adoptive father that he was adopted when he was 10-years-old – but, out of respect for the man and woman who raised him, he chose not to pursue his biological family until after his adoptive parents had died.

It was like a missing piece of a jigsaw, it felt so natural and like we had always known each other

Mark Balls

Mr Balls, who has six children and now lives in Paderborn in Germany, said that while he knew some information about his biological mother, he could only “get so far”.

In the run up to his 50th birthday, his daughters asked him what he would like.

He said: “I told them how far I got with my search and that maybe – because they’re a bit more media savvy than I am – I asked if they could find out more?”

They conducted their own research but were unsuccessful.

His daughter Amanda then decided to give him a gift of a MyHeritage DNA test which would ultimately set him on a path that would finally see him connect with his Irish family.

“The way I understood it is that if I do the DNA test and there’s other people with a close DNA match to me, they might have information on where my mother would be.”

The mystery was not immediately solved but the results provided Mr Balls with a path to follow.

“I got the results and there were a couple of close connections. So I sent a few emails to people who unfortunately couldn’t help me.

“Time went by and there was a new match, with someone who had done a test and had a 10% match with me.

“I sent her a message and told her I was looking for my birth mother and it turned out her dad’s name was Condon – the same surname as my birth mother’s maiden name – and that he had a sister called Phyllis.”

Through a complicated chain of messages involving his newly discovered cousin in Greece as well as other relatives in Australia and Reading, Mr Balls eventually received an email to say that Phyllis O’Neill was his mother – and that he had two blood brothers in Limerick, Ireland.

“I was in work when I checked my emails. I got all choked up.”

Mr Balls’ mother was 18 and living in Hampstead, London when she gave birth to him.

Fearing judgment over the situation, she kept the pregnancy secret and gave him up for adoption to an Irish family who lived less than 30 minutes away.

She and Mr Balls’ father later married and had two more children.

Five weeks after receiving the news, Mr Balls travelled to Fedamore in Limerick to meet his long-lost Irish family.

Mr Balls said that he believed his biological mother had felt guilt about the adoption process, but he said he assured her he had “no bad feelings”.

“It was put to her that she was very young to be bringing up a child and that wasn’t the done thing. It was very different times,” he said.

“My intention for this whole reunion was to get to know my mother and let her know I had no bad feelings.

“It was unbelievable. I was taken in straight away and accepted as one of the family.

“It was like a missing piece of a jigsaw, it felt so natural and like we had always known each other.”

On the six-day visit, Mr Balls stayed in the spare bedroom of one of his brothers.

I was taken in straight away and accepted as one of the family

Mark Balls

He said he connected with them over common interests and shared stories about their childhood, and he also met his uncles.

He said that because his adoptive mother was from Lissycasey in Co Clare, he knew how to fit in: “I knew the Irish side of things, that I had to drink and socialise!”

Mr Balls also brought his two daughters and youngest son – as well as one of his grandchildren.

Ms O’Neill did not think she was a grandmother yet, so she was additionally surprised to learn she was a great-grandmother.

Asked if he would recommend the process to other people in the same situation, Mr Balls said: “I’m aware that not every story has a good ending – and that curiosity kills the cat.

“However, if you don’t do it – you’ll regret it. You don’t want to look back and think ‘I should have done that’, or realise that you have left it too late.”

Mr Balls said he will “absolutely” be coming to Ireland more often, as he has yet to meet all his relatives.

DNA test and historical records are available through MyHeritage.com .