What Is Stresslaxing? Mental Health Experts Share Insights to Why We Feel Anxious About Relaxing

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to relax and unwind only to end up feeling stressed and anxious by the process of doing so, you’re not alone. “Stresslaxing” is a real thing, experts say, and it can make us feel guilty and uneasy as we make efforts to decompress. This is a common problem that anyone can face, and there is unfortunately no cure-all. However, there are things you can do to mitigate these unpleasant feelings.

What is ‘stresslaxing’ and who does it affect?

“Stresslaxing” is the experience of negative emotions during a period of relaxation. The clinical term is relaxation-induced anxiety (RIA) . This is a paradoxical situation with both psychological and physiological roots, says Kristie Tse, LMHC , Psychotherapist and Founder of Uncover Mental Health Counseling.

“For those accustomed to high stress levels, attempts to relax can trigger anxiety and agitation due to their nervous systems being in a state of over-activation, as their brains have adapted to constant alertness,” Tse explains.

Studies have proven that while relaxation techniques are intended to reduce stress, they can initially increase stress in individuals who have high anxiety levels because they might feel overwhelmed by the need to "do it right,” says Kiki Ramsey, MCC , CEO of The Positive Psychology Coaching and Diversity Institute.

“This indicates that societal and self-imposed pressures to be productive at all times can interfere with the ability to relax, creating a cycle where the act of attempting to relax becomes a new source of stress,” she explains.

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RIA can affect anyone, experts say, but it's most common among high-achievers, perfectionists, individuals who are used to being in a constant state of productivity, those with existing anxiety issues and people facing stressors and pressure in daily life. This can cause the brain to perceive a sudden shift toward downtime as uncomfortable and even trigger a fight-or-flight response.

How to manage ‘stresslaxing’

We know that anxiety and stress are often largely out of our control, but there are practices we can implement to ease some of the negative feelings we experience. A healthy, well-rounded diet and exercise routine are certainly helpful for mental health, but those are not the only remedies.

Try practicing mindfulness

Many experts recommend mindful breathing exercises to ease “stresslaxing” as this can help reset the nervous system and provide a palpable sense of calm. Engaging in practices such as yoga and meditation which are based on these principles can help integrate mindfulness into your routine.

Look at this quick and helpful video to try the 4-7-8 breathing method, one of many breathing techniques designed to place the mind and body in deep relaxation.

“Spend five minutes each day practicing mindfulness,” suggests Ramsey. “Focus on your breathing and your surroundings without judgment. This practice helps you become more aware and present, reducing stress over time.”

Another mindfulness technique involves staying grounded. Try focusing on the physical sensations of your environment, Tse advises, such as touching a textured object or listening to the sound of nature to redirect your attention from stress to the present moment.

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Prioritize your favorite hobbies

“Engaging in activities you genuinely enjoy can divert your mind from stress,” says Ramsey. “Consider activities such as getting a massage, having a mani-pedi, going to the movies, or reading a book. Fun and enjoyable activities can promote relaxation and reduce stress.”

Similarly, creative activities such as painting or writing can also help as they offer a mental escape from daily pressures, Tse adds.

Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

PMR can also aid in reducing stress and anxiety, says Lindsey Tong, LCSW, Clinical Director at Profound Treatment. It involves systematically tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body. Not only can this exercise ease physical tension, but it also promotes a sense of overall relaxation.

“By concentrating on feelings associated with tightening and releasing muscles, individuals can successfully manage anxiety during attempts to rest,” Tong explains.

If you’re interested in trying PMR, follow along with this guided video:

Practice time management

The "Do It, Delay It, Delete It, or Delegate It" method, recommended by Ramsey, involves categorizing tasks into those you must do immediately, those that can be delayed, those that can be deleted and those that can be delegated.

“By prioritizing and organizing tasks, you can reduce the overwhelming feeling of a never-ending to-do list, creating more time for relaxation,” she says.

Listen to your body

One of the most important things to remember here is to not force yourself to engage in what might be considered a traditional relaxation technique if it doesn’t work for you. Easing anxiety is far from one-size-fits-all so it comes down to doing something that helps you personally.

“When it comes to trying to relax in these stressful times for you, make sure you are actually doing something that relaxes you,” advises Jordan Calabrese, MD , Medical Director of Sana Lake Recovery. “I think people can quite often lean into things they believe will be beneficial for them such as meditation and reading, when what their mind and body needs right now is a good TV show binge. Healthy relaxation techniques are important, of course, but sometimes, we genuinely just need some comfort to relax.”

Read on for more mental health tips!

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This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis. Always consult your physician before pursuing any treatment plan .