Ladies and gentlemen, the opening ceremony for the 2024 Summer Olympic games is less than 24 hours away. Even though I'm a big baseball fan I can admit that July and August get a bit tough with the lack of sports to watch but every four years one of the oldest traditions in world history comes around to save us from the stupor of summer heat. This year's events will be held in Paris and towns in the surrounding greater metro area, with surfing taking place in Tahiti. The opening ceremony will be the first ever not hosted in a stadium and will take place outdoors alongside the Seine River. The parade of athletes will occur actually on the river with athletes riding boats through the city. As happens when big events like this come up, I tend to think about what an Olympic team made up of only country music artists would look like, so without further adieu, here's my roster for Team Country Music.
Archery - Koe Wetzel
If noodling was an Olympic sport than Koe could win himself a medal but he's not too shabby with a bow either. While most of his targets are big old bucks, I'm sure he could make the transition to a target pretty easily. https://www.instagram.com/p/C1dAJdJPJdN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Baseball - Charley Pride
There's plenty of country musicians who played ball back in the day, but did you know Charley Pride actually played professionally in the Negro leagues? He pitched a season each with the Memphis Red Sox and Birmingham Black Barons before spending a few years in the military. When he was done serving the country, he played for the Missoula Timberjacks briefly before hanging up the cleats to pursue country music full-time, something that I'm guessing he had no regrets doing. https://twitter.com/baseballinpix/status/1470060884458295297
Basketball - Kip Moore
This is the first of many entries for Kip on this list. While he may be better known for other athletic endeavors, he actually played point guard for Wallace State in college. He was also on their golf team (more on that later) and eventually transferred to Valdolsta State University, where he hung up the sneakers but finished his athletic career,
Boxing - Kris Kristofferson and Steven Wilson Jr.
Kris Kristofferson is truly the
most interesting man in country music history, sporting a resume that boasts Army Ranger, Oxford Scholar, helicopter pilot, and even Golden Gloves boxer. While at Oxford, he earned a "Blue" is the sweet science (the highest athletic honor) and almost certainly could have pursued it for a career had he not also been one of the best songwriters of his generation. https://twitter.com/StayHereAndMeme/status/1275029339395031046 Steven Wilson Jr. was an amateur boxer who fell in love with the sport thanks to his father, who had lots of professional potential but gave it up to raise his family. Jr. began training early and had his first fight at just age 7 and also became a Golden Gloves boxer but realized that there were other avenues for him to pursue during his life. Still, if push came to shove I wouldn't want to be standing across from a guy who's been throwing punches since childhood.
Breakdancing - Chris Young
Yes, break dancing is an official Olympic sport as of this year. Is that a little ridiculous? Yes. Will I watch it? Probably, but I'm upset we're not going to get to see Chris Young do his thing on an international stage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEx_tt5DZdE
Cycling - Dierks Bentley
While I think Dierks really bikes for fun and some exercise, it's hard to imagine there's a ton of people who are willing to go for 100+ mile rides so he's going to have to carry the flag for us in this event. https://www.instagram.com/p/CboFZOtMZjJ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Equestrian - Reba and Cody Johnson
Both Reba and CoJo were actual rodeo stars before becoming country music stars. Unfortunately for CoJo there's no roping event so he'll have to dress up and look regal for awhile, something that Reba will have absolutely no problem with. https://www.instagram.com/p/C9NdEEMvBXx/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Flag Football - Riley Green, Chase Rice, Sam Hunt, Lee Brice
Admittedly, I think tackle would more suit the squad we've got here but Riley Green, Chase Rice, Sam Hunt, and Lee Brice all played college ball. I think we can hang with the other teams in the physicality department but I'm thinking we're toast when it comes to speed... https://twitter.com/CFBRep/status/1669484821020639233
Golf - Kip Moore, Vince Gill, Jake Owen, Darius Rucker, and Charlie Muncaster
Here's where I really think we have a chance to compete... As we said earlier, Kip Moore played 4 years of college golf, as did Jake Owen at Florida State before he started making a run in the junior ranks (a wakeboarding injury closed the door on a professional career). Vince Gill is a scratch golfer who wants to compete in the Senior Open while Darius Rucker and Charlie Muncaster of Muscadine Bloodline spend enough time on the course to round out a solid line-up.
Taekwondo - Willie Nelson
Okay, maybe not 91 year old Willie Nelson but Shotgun Willie is a life long martial artist who holds a 5th degree black belt in Gongkwon Yusul, which is kind of sort of Taekwondo. For the sake of this list, let's pretend they're the same and give Willie a spot on the team. https://twitter.com/OwenChang/status/1736589300417142950
Rugby - Luke Combs and Kris Kristofferson
Oh, along with all the other Kris Kristofferson accolades that I mentioned above, did you know he played varsity rugby at both Pomona College and Oxford? https://twitter.com/KeyserSozeBro1/status/1804496638557229211 Luke Combs didn't pick up rugby until he got to Appalachian State, and even then it was just at the club level, but come on, don't you want to see him barreling over bodies on the pitch? I sure do...
Shooting - Hank Williams Jr.
In all honesty there's a limitless number of country artists who hunt and therefore could compete in shooting, but how can you argue against the guy that gave us "A Country Boy Can Survive"? https://www.instagram.com/p/4ZdrLCEcGr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Sport Climbing - Kip Moore
His third appearance and we're not done yet... Kip is a simple man that just needs a mountain and some ropes to have a good time. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPoCYQqHFyp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Surfing - Kip Moore
Kip's going to be pretty sore when these games are over... https://www.instagram.com/p/C43N-slr-UH/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Tennis - Kenny Rogers
Did you know that at one point Kenny Rogers got so obsessed with tennis that he brought some pros on the road with him and played 8 hours a day? All that practice got him a national ranking and he still has a listing on the
ATP site . https://twitter.com/RMGLUCK2017/status/1561264404712357888
Wrestling - Zach Bryan
Before he was a star, before he was a Navy man, Zach Bryan was a high school wrestler (and student president class president).
Track & Field - Garth Brooks (Javelin) and Morgan Wade (Distance)
For as weird as he can be, Garth Brooks was quite the athlete growing up, but he truly excelled at the javelin, competing on Oklahoma State's team for all four years, earning All-American three times, and qualifying for the Big 8 Championships before trading it all in for a life of hiding bodies making country music. https://twitter.com/WrongUnis/status/1660707603419213824 Morgan Wade began her fitness journey a few years back and quickly became obsessed with distance running, and by distance I mean long, long distance. She's run multiple ultramarathons now and continues to push her physical boundaries. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7WvtwnRgmk/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Most Popular
Comments / 0