Bride-to-be’s ‘strange’ excuse for sending ‘not invited’ cards to people

A recent post on the r/weddingshaming subreddit has sparked controversy about the ‘audacity’ of some couples.

The post details a cousin’s wedding where guests were asked to help set up the event, plus, those not invited were also sent an interesting card…

The post read: “A cousin’s wedding is coming up soon, and they are planning a small garden wedding. It’s a semi-destination wedding, I would say. It’s five hours away from where everybody lives. Due to the budget, they wanted it small with just family and friends.

“I just found out that the wedding couple are sending ‘cards’ to people that are not invited, saying that they are getting married soon and ‘you are in our hearts on this special day’ BEFORE the wedding.

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“Their excuse is for the sake of ‘curiosity and thinking of them’. But what I don’t understand is why send this BEFORE the wedding?”

It gets worse…

Those that were “lucky” enough to be invited were all texted big-day ‘jobs’ ahead of the wedding.

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The OP explained: “I got a text from the couple saying that ‘Everyone has a role to help set up. Once the ceremony is done the wedding party will leave to take photos while the GUEST set up the tables for the reception’. I was like what???

“They never ASKED if people are willing to do that as if they just dictated to people what to do. My reply was ‘You’re TELLING people who drove five hours to your wedding spend their petrol and hotel money to set up for your wedding?’ and their response is ‘Yea’.”

She concluded her post by asking, “Where is the respect, etiquette, and morals? They said that financially, they couldn’t hire people to set up, but they had almost two years to save. And what did they do to save? They went travelling instead of saving for the wedding.”

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The post has received mixed reactions from other Reddit users but the general consensus was that the couple were being extremely rude and entitled.

One commenter wrote, “What they are planning sucks and is rude and that’s reason to not attend. If you do want to go to see family and to see a possible train wreck, make it clear that you aren’t going to help set anything up. If she sends you a notice of your ‘job’, reply back that you have other plans and will catch up with her at the reception.”

Another user shared their thoughts on the ‘you’re not invited’ cards: “Re: ‘you’re not invited’ cards — I’ve seen people come into wedding planning forums to innocently proclaim their plan to do this ‘to show people that they’re in our thoughts, even if we can’t invite them’. They genuinely thought they were being Nice. Lol.”

A third commenter suggested the couple had an alterier motive for the cards: “Surely the only reason for this would be to hope those people still send a gift even though they are not invited. Seems so tacky.”

Finally, one user summed up their feelings like this: “This wedding sounds like a trainwreck. Skip.”

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