I Overthink Everything & It Holds Me Back—How Do I Live in the Moment?

Ask a Witch is StyleCaster’s advice column offering sage advice and practical magic for modern problems. Every Friday, our resident witch Roya Backlund will answer your most vulnerable conundrums through the lens of astrology, Tarot, and spirituality. Submit questions to askawitch@stylecaster.com , along with your birth information—date, time, and location—as well as birth information for other parties involved, if you have it. Hex what vexes you: Ask a Witch .

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Dear Roya,

How do I stop overthinking every aspect of my life? I know it’s probably not unusual to hear this from a 20-year-old woman, but I really struggle to live in the moment. I consider myself a pretty confident person, but overthinking holds me back in life.

Overthinking my interactions with others has been a huge problem for me, especially with boys. I’m very outgoing and talkative, but when I find someone attractive, I usually assume they won’t be interested in me. I try to shield myself from rejection, because I’m constantly wondering if people think I’m weird, annoying, or unattractive—even if I don’t really care about them.

I get worried things will go badly if I don’t make a good impression, but I wouldn’t call myself a pessimist per se—I’m generally a very positive person! My overthinking just makes me feel insecure about myself and my decisions. I try to push past it—and often, I do. But sometimes I’ll do something and think to myself, What did I just do? With boys especially, sometimes I’d rather do nothing than put myself out there.

That said, nothing makes me more anxious than thinking about my future. My lifelong dream is to be an actress. I’d love to attend acting school after graduation, but I don’t come from a wealthy family, so I get nervous I won’t be able to support myself. I try to make wise decisions to set myself up for success, but it’s hard to know for sure if I’m on the right path.

How do I stop holding myself back by overthinking everything?

Sincerely,
Obvious Overthinker

Dear Obvious Overthinker,

Before you start believing something is wrong with you, let’s just get one thing straight—there’s nothing more human than being an overthinker. Human beings are designed to constantly scan our environments for threats, because in prehistoric times, we had to be on the lookout for potential danger at all times. Living in the present moment could come at a cost, especially if it causes you to lower your guard against predators and unseen enemies. In order to survive, you always had to be thinking about hunting and gathering for your next meal and finding a safe place to sleep at night. But you’re not living in the wild ancient world anymore—you’re living in modern civilization. However, your primal instincts are still on alert, and your body is unaware of the fact that you don’t have to worry about the same threats anymore. Living in the now is not always easy, and sometimes, it can feel as though you have to rewire your whole brain in order to simply be present.

While everyone can relate to the feeling of being at the mercy of your own obsessive thinking, some of us certainly struggle with this more than others. And there’s always a deeper reason why you’re ruminating the past and worrying about the future instead of living in the now.

Immediately, I can see several things in your birth chart that point to your inner turmoil. You were born with your sun in Libra forming a combusted conjunction with your Mercury in Libra, which causes you to constantly weigh pros and cons. In astrology, Libra is symbolically tied to the “scales,” which is one reason you can’t stop thinking about the worst possible outcome of any given situation. To add insult to injury, your sun-Mercury conjunction is also situated in your 12th house of subconscious and spiritual energies, which makes you the type of person who gets swept up in their own inner world. This means you can either daydream yourself into a good mood or worry yourself into a full-blown nightmare. It’s not always easy for you to tell fact from fiction, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong” with you. It simply means you have to find ways to get grounded before you get carried away. (Learn more about your Mercury sign )

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Socializing has always been something you’ve felt particularly nervous about, which is why your overthinking tends to affect your interactions and hold you back in your relationships. After all, you were born with your Chiron in the third house of communication, and in astrology, Chiron is an asteroid that represents your deepest wound and your lifelong attempts to heal that wound. This may mean that while growing up, you were shamed or embarrassed for trying to speak your mind or connect with others. And those scars have remained with you, as your Chiron is also squaring off with your Mercury in Libra, emphasizing your fear even further. However, the interesting thing about Chiron is it also contains one of your deepest strengths—your ability to heal others. And with Chiron in your communication sector, you can teach others to overcome their fear of speaking up—who can set an example for how to choose your words wisely and in a way that brings people up rather than tears people down. (Learn more about the asteroids of astrology .)

The way you overanalyze the past and the future can also be explained by the fact that your Scorpio rising is squaring off with Uranus, planet of sudden changes and unpredictability. When Uranus is involved, there’s no telling what could happen next, as Uranus has a mind of its own and no plan to follow. Because your natal Uranus is also situated at 29 degrees—the most climactic degree in astrology—you always feel as though you’re teetering over the edge of something major. And while Uranus can bring exciting changes, it can also shatter your reality just for the sake of spicing things up. You’re very familiar with feeling like anything can change at the drop of a hat, which makes you hyper-aware of all the ifs, ands, or buts.

All of this may sound like bad news, but I beg to differ. You have the birth chart of someone who could become famous one day—someone who will be remembered long after they die. Not only do you have placements in the 12th house of spirituality—meaning your energy may linger long after you leave this world—but you also have two “fame degrees” in your birth chart. Your natal Uranus is at 29 degrees, which symbolizes fame that outlasts your life. Your fortune placement is also in Leo at 17 degrees, which symbolizes long-lasting notoriety. And with your fortune placement situated in your 10th house of public image, I have no doubt that you may one day grow up and become someone who is very well-known in your field. (Learn more about the 12 houses of astrology .)

You say you’ve always wanted to be an actress, and your birth chart supports this initiative. You’re a Scorpio rising, which means your chart ruler is your Mars in Pisces, situated in the fifth house of fun, pleasure, and creativity. This makes you a child at heart, and everyone in the acting world knows that children make the best performers. They’re untainted by the shame and inhibition associated with adulthood, giving them direct access to a divine source of creativity. You were born with that access, and it will sustain you for the rest of your life.

However, you are right that your family and the circumstances of your birth may not be what takes you there. You were born with your Cancer moon forming an exact conjunction with Saturn—planet of limitations and responsibility—which can indicate that you may, in some ways, feel tied down by where you come from. Your family is incredibly warm and loving—as evidenced by the fact that your moon is in its home sign of Cancer—but with the added pressure from Saturn, you may be used to taking care of your family instead of relying on them for help. (Learn more about your Saturn placement .)

You are by no means a nepo baby who will achieve success because your father has connections in Hollywood. You are someone who will achieve fame through a completely spontaneous and unexpected scenario. An accident may pave the way for your chance to achieve greatness. A shocking turn of events could inspire your best performance. You already have the talent and creativity to make it far, but it’s through a lightning-bolt surprise that your life could be propelled toward fame and glory. All of this is to say that yes, you may be an overthinker, but you’re also hyper-aware of every single possibility that sits in front of you. And it is through your hyperawareness and tendency to overthink that you might stumble upon a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that takes you to stardom.

If living in the present moment is easier for someone else, it may be because they’re right where they’re meant to be. But you’re meant for something bigger—something grander.

Dreamily,
Roya

About Roya

Roya Backlund is StyleCaster’s Senior Lifestyle & Astrology Editor and a professional witch. Born in Los Angeles on May 26—the same day as Stevie Nicks—she’s been obsessed with the zodiac since she discovered she was a Gemini as a child. Her interest in mysteries and the occult began in the metaphysical section at her local Borders. If you’re a fan of astrology, spirituality, and witchcraft, you’ve probably read her horoscopes and lifestyle articles, which have appeared elsewhere in Elite Daily, PopSugar, Astrology.com, and more. Whether you want to delve deeper into your birth chart or interpret signs from your spirit guides, Roya’s got you covered.

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