The Curse of Perfectionism

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Many of us have been told that perfectionism is unhealthy. We know we’re supposed to simply “do the best we can” and “go easy on ourselves.” But for the most perfectionist-inclined among us, that’s much easier said than done. We find ourselves trying to be “perfect” even at things for which the concept is inapplicable—relaxing at the beach, say, or engaging in relationships with loved ones.

Today’s reading list explores the pitfalls of perfectionism, in hopes of encouraging its most loyal adherents to find something else to be perfect at: being imperfect, and being okay with it.

On Perfectionism

The Problem With Being Perfect

By Olga Khazan

A trait that’s often seen as good can actually be destructive. Here’s how to combat it. ( From 2018 )

Read the article.

Perfectionism Can Become a Vicious Cycle in Families

By Gail Cornwall

Mothers and fathers risk passing down this tendency to the next generation, creating a pattern of dissatisfaction. ( From 2021 )

Read the article.

Go Ahead and Fail

By Arthur C. Brooks

Perfectionism can make you miserable. Here’s how you can muster the courage to mess up. ( From 2021 )

Read the article.

Still Curious?

• You’re not perfect . And that’s great news, Arthur C. Brooks wrote last month.
• Perfect grades don’t always matter : In 2017, an Atlantic video essay explored why grades aren’t everything when it comes to education.

Other Diversions

• All airlines are now the same.
• We might get thrilling news about aliens … in 2040.
• Inside U.S. cricket’s shocking victory

P.S.

I recently asked readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. “The wonders that we shared with our childhood friends—the bad jokes and secrets, the little complaints and the total trust—coalesce later into those remembered perfect moments,” writes Carol Watts, a.k.a. “Nonni,” from Overland Park, Kansas. “When my daughter forwarded this photograph to me of two of my grandsons, ages 12 and 10, from a vacation in Montana, the natural surroundings were moving, but the moment it captures … Ah!”

I’ll continue to feature your responses in the coming weeks. If you’d like to share, reply to this email with a photo and a short description so we can share your wonder with fellow readers in a future edition of this newsletter or on our website. Please include your name (initials are okay), age, and location. By doing so, you agree that The Atlantic has permission to publish your photo and publicly attribute the response to you, including your first name and last initial, age, and/or location that you share with your submission.

— Isabel